Elsajeni

I briefly had a job in college writing answer explanations for practice LSATs, which I was "qualified" for entirely because I love those puzzles

A small potted succulent - I don’t know what kind, sorry - with a cluster of dozens of flower buds growing out of one stem. Just one bud has opened, to display a star-shaped white flower.

The same succulent, but now with more flowers! Ten or twelve flowers have opened, and there are still lots more buds to go.

One of our hardware store succulents is BLOOMING!

Clown luchador Henry talks about the time his career was suspended for six months because he got kidnapped as a taxi driver and had too high blood pressure as a result (the words "Clown luchador Henry" are a link to the interview where, presumably, he goes into more detail about this experience)

I don't really actively follow lucha libre anymore, but the important headlines still come my way

I never learned to ride a bike and it's my goal for this year for this exact reason! right now I can keep up with mine (3.5) but only at a jog, and Santa brought him a Real Big Boy Bike With Pedals so it's only a matter of time

I stepped on something pointy and plasticky this morning when we went in to get the kid up, and hurt my tender little paw, and WHO SHOULD IT BE

but POOPOO THE DAMN HORSE

This is why my number one rule for flooding is, okay, you shouldn’t drive into ANY standing water really, but you should REALLY not drive into standing water that already has a tv news van parked near it

please man I would KILL to watch pikachu with you. anything but the goddamn Paw Patrol really but PIKACHU? my old friend pikachu? c’mon

Aw man the kid saw Pokémon on the Netflix menu and was like “let’s watch Pikachu!!” but we got 15 whole seconds into it before he said “atually dis is boring” and made us turn it off

SIXTINE COUSIN AGE 26 and it's a ski lady

it's-a me, mario. i got-a big-a family. i got-a

I’m sure there are still conservative fields where they really want to see you in heels! I’m just not sure that either “wobbling like baby deer” or “clomping like horse” is going to make a BETTER impression on those people than wearing ballet flats would have.

Once again feeling the urge to chase down a student headed for a career fair and tell her “sweetie. Hon. Flats are PERFECTLY PROFESSIONAL.”

Ideal couch nap material, can’t wait for it to air on TV at 2 pm on a Sunday

Yesterday my boss came into my office at like 4:40 to give me a big new project that 1) will be a big pain and 2) is due today, and to add insult to injury I had a DREAM that it was the end of the day today and I was suddenly realizing I’d forgotten to work on it at all

my kid saw this over my shoulder and said "I LIKE that watermelon!!" (I told him it was a strawberry and he did not buy it. "and also a watermelon.")

they fit him fine widthwise but he looks all set to play basketball in the ‘70s

whoops, Willie’s Emergency Backup Shorts in his backpack haven’t been changed out in a while and we still have 24m ones in there apparently

I worked from home today and had a great snooping opportunity: there has been at least one pest control company truck at my neighbor's house ALL day. More trucks have come and gone. At one point there were four. What the fuck kind of animal is in their attic??

you know, some days you model Standing Up For Yourself and some days you model Don't Escalate With Weirdly Aggro Strangers and they're both good lessons!

ooh I wish I could remember. I do know I fell passionately in love with TWO dresses and talked my mom into buying both, and ended up wearing the other one for my senior recital. my feeling is that the $100-$120 range other people have named is about right, 2004, Houston.

My child has returned from his grandparents’ house with a recorder

consider: inflatable warhammer?

Tumblr post by user animedads: they call me... 7 Knives. because that's how many knives it takes me to cook things because I keep puttin em in the fuckin sink without thinking about it

Ol’ Johnny Seven Knives

his face came out SO good

One corner of a blue plastic water table, full to the brim because it’s been out in the rain. Pointy, delicate ice crystals are forming at the edges of the basin and starting to spread across the surface of the water.

We went outside before it got dark to put water in various containers and see what freezes, and the rainwater in the water table was already starting to freeze

So many little easter eggs in the illustrations! Zack noticed that every time you see the neighbor’s house there are more people in the window as they’re presumably telling each other “come get a load of this shit” between pages

Rainbow progress update, 14 months later

a petty beef about working on a college campus: I know the MAIN market for on-campus dining is students, but staff are here every day! all year! would it kill you to keep the Panda Express open between semesters

I am enchanted by this newish PBS show Weather Hunters, and I am ESPECIALLY enchanted by the newest episode where the meteorologist family’s littlest kid falls in love with their mail carrier

She sent me a photo of the typed recipe and there’s a step where you have to have soaked poppyseeds in milk starting 2 hours ago, which I can tell has got her on many occasions because it’s handwritten in 2 different places on the page as well as being in the typed instructions

Adulthood milestone: tracked down the cousin who made a family recipe for the New Year’s party to get a copy for myself