Simon Nixon

Deconstructed or not it’s hard to find ways to recognise the space we take up because power and privilege is the water we’ve swum in.

It’s not to say the topic hasn’t covered brilliantly. But i think it’s telling that it’s not often covered by the men who benefited from it.
Can anyone point me in the direction where tis is being covered?

There’s so much great content in the deconstruction space. One topic I haven’t heard much on is how men are unwinding the patriarchy and complementarianism they’ve learned in evangelical spaces. The practical things they’re doing to not repeat the harmful systems we were once a part of.

They’ve a message of love into a message of fear. They won’t relinquish power until they overcome that fear.

It can be easy to tell yourself to choose hope over fear. But fear is not something you choose, it’s there to bring awareness to that which is not right, to what threatens you. It’s in knowledge that fear and wrestling with it where courage and hope is born.

Masculinity is so many things, Zuckerberg, Rogan and Piper and others mentioned here have such a narrow understanding of it. I guess at least he’s being honest that he values aggression over accountability for what others feel. So we know who we’re dealing with.

When billionaires talk about masculinity what they’re really talking about is not wanting accountability.

I’ve making this analogy for a while now, and I’m worried it’s going to get worse in the next little while, when abusers escape accountability they become emboldened.

If it’s ok to ask, what for you are some of the signs of a coercive community? I ask because I’ve been training to identify men who have been coercive over last 6 months and often work with them in a counselling setting. I’m interested in what you see in the community/system space.

I’ve “checked out” Fortnite a few times. The best I got was 4th. A win is impressive.

You won a Fortnite battle on your first day?

No one is more precise than a 10 year old who just realised you said the time was 10:30 when it was really 10:29

These moments are a mirror. If you’re seeing the fires as judgment you’re probably seeing yourself and a god you created in your image.

Glad you weren’t a jerk or a cry baby and you’ve remained friends.

Sounds polite

Sometimes I wonder if the difference is, in the recovery space I’m accountable for my behaviour in the church space I’m accountable for your behaviour.

Friends, tell me what your favorite pop culture moments of 2024 were.
Could be a song, a book, a movie, concert, tv show
Could be the whole thing or just a moment.
What made you get in all the feels this year?

I think in my experience (admining multiple Facebook decon groups) I’d say most people use it as a catch all for any negative experiences they’ve had in a church. I’m interested though reading through the comments as to how we clearly define different experiences, particularly in regards to abuse

This shows how far from the experience of not just his average congregants but is volunteer leaders he is. I know for a long time when I was a pastor I didn’t get it, but what a relief it must be for people who just did Christmas services not to have to back up again 4 days later.

The thing about Squid Game is, one of those pink soldiers could take their mask off and reveal they are one of the most famous actors in South Korea and i would never know. Am I missing brilliant cameos? This is what is keeping me up tonight.

I’m not sure if I can agree after Civil War

Coercive control perpetrated against whole communities, and churches that are like an abusive husband that holds no accountability.

STOP! 🛑

Before you get that tattoo, consider:

Is the reference so obscure that you will spend up to ten minutes explaining it to anyone who inquires?

If the answer is YES, then go get that tat baybee

Tell me it’s not perfect though. Almost 20 years later and I can still hear that music.

Name a non-LOTR character who could resist the One Ring.

When your claim to the pulpit is a greater value than the care of the congregation you’ve completely missed the point. Platforms are hard to let go of.

I think I believe that the online version of men like this is actually the closest representation of who they are. This is their unchecked voice with no accountability or consequences.

a blurry picture of a woman screaming with the words come on artax below her ALT: a blurry picture of a woman screaming with the words come on artax below her

Feels like the swamp of sadness

I went out to see a friends band tonight and every restaurant I walked past to get there had a pride flag in the window. We have rainbow magnets and welcome signs in the foyer of our counselling office. It shouldn’t be hard to normalise this in affirming churches.