@jacob-bryce.bsky.social
Level 39 Goblin. Writer. Bookworm. Gamer. Horror fiend. Grad student. Dog dad. Hippie partner. Neurodivergent as frick. He/him. I rate movies on a scale of 5 Jake-o-lanterns. Letterboxd: https://boxd.it/1ZpAZ
Mash up bands:
Limp Korn
Tonight's flick is one of my favorite recent vampire movies.
4/5 jake-o-lanterns
No horror movie tonight. Instead, I'm going to curl up with this wholesome, family-friendly piece of literature instead.
#31daysofhalloween
Let's kick off the spooky season with a little bit of cult hijinks the The Fixx.
The House of the Devil
4.5/5 jake-o-lanterns
It really bothers me when I make a typo in a group chat, and my friends have the audacity to read it before I can edit.
15.08.2025 12:34 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0They're like a flesh eating disease that's highly offended by people who don't want their flesh eaten.
01.08.2025 22:20 — 👍 3 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0Me: Sometimes you treat me like I don’t even exist. Like I’m not standing right in front of you, waiting for some response.
Touchless faucet:
QRP with your wings art!
25.07.2025 17:51 — 👍 192 🔁 32 💬 4 📌 9
Just a fan-fucking-tastic werewolf flick.
4/5 jake-o-lanterns
I don't think I've ever seen an 80's movie that was more 80's than this.
3.5/5 jake-o-lanterns
Of course, now that I've posted this, I imagine I've given the great algorithm permission to send me all the Hims ads.
14.07.2025 10:38 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0There's absolutely nothing shameful about ED or seeking treatment for it. But when it comes to reminders that I'm aging, working w/ 20 year olds has been doing a great job of it.
14.07.2025 10:36 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Shortly before turning 39 and continuing after, the great algorithm has been sending me erectile disfunction ads. While this is a major step up from Mark Walburg and Chris Prart asking me to pray with them, I do wish the algorithm waited for me to search "ED treatments" rather than just assume.
14.07.2025 10:35 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 2 📌 0
From 'Mad Ship' by Robin Hobb.
05.07.2025 11:06 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Stiff competition but this may be the worst vibe July 4th in my many centuries of existence
04.07.2025 16:13 — 👍 9086 🔁 895 💬 194 📌 48Ya know what fuck it go ahead and put ketchup on those hot dogs nothing matters anymore
04.07.2025 16:10 — 👍 217 🔁 44 💬 15 📌 1Reposting with alt text
06.11.2024 16:21 — 👍 7316 🔁 3147 💬 37 📌 25How about if before we type the accusation “no one is talking about this” we do a search to see if that’s true, k?
28.06.2025 12:27 — 👍 17 🔁 1 💬 2 📌 0
22.06.2025 09:19 — 👍 11509 🔁 3552 💬 135 📌 110
“i asked chat gpt” “i asked grok” Jeeves would kill you where you stand
17.06.2025 14:22 — 👍 15488 🔁 3706 💬 85 📌 71I worked at a cafe, and Magic Johnson showed up to order a smoothie. After writing down his order, I asked for his name. He cut himself off before telling me to just put E. J. (This was in his hometown.)
14.06.2025 00:17 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0I tell people this story about you all the time.
14.06.2025 00:14 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0If you get a punny tattoo, the joke’s on you
11.06.2025 12:12 — 👍 276 🔁 79 💬 5 📌 0
Choose 20 vampires you love. One vampire per day for 20 days, in no particular order. No explanation, just vampires.
Day 18
"..."
A Switch 2 can wait. A PS5 is now my top priority. 😍
11.06.2025 00:46 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Choose 20 vampires you love. One vampire per day for 20 days, in no particular order. No explanation, just vampires.
Day 17
"I don't dance."
Choose 20 vampires you love. One vampire per day for 20 days, in no particular order. No explanation, just vampires.
Day 16
"I am your way out. This world already left you for dead."
Dan Trachtenberg does it again. While I would have loved to see these shorts as features, I still enjoyed the hell out of the frame narrative.
4/5 jake-o-lanterns
Choose 20 vampires you love. One vampire per day for 20 days, in no particular order. No explanation, just vampires.
Day 15
"They're only noodles, Michael."
Choose 20 vampires you love. One vampire per day for 20 days, in no particular order. No explanation, just vampires.
Day 14
"I am an appetite. Nothing more."
