Tammy Garrison

Let’s play the great American pastime: Is It Gunfire? Or Is It Fireworks?

Me regarding the managers’ office set in the restated tour of The Phantom of the Opera: this set looks like a children’s hospital threw up all over it.

The cats have been fed for the first time in the history of the world. Or since breakfast. You decide.

Bless his little heart.

The toy set him up, man!

**update** Now Muffin is at the track toy, staring at it like “where did the ball go?” Which ball? The one you’ve been shooting around the living room for the last half hour?

What the fuck? Muffin finally did it. He’s been trying to get this ball out of this circular track toy since he was a kitten. Literal YEARS. today is the day. The track is still in one piece so I have no idea how he did it. Good job, buddy. Good job.

I think you’re right.

At some point Ichiban became reasonably priced? It’s like $4 more than an order for two at Taco Bell, not including tip? Bizzaroworld.

Hubs is being admitted to the hospital for his heart and I told my family and accidentally used a bunch of crying laughing emojis instead of crying ones so now my family thinks I’m a psychopath 🤦‍♀️

Thanks.

I think so too.

Thanks.

It’s not looking like a heart attack but also they are admitting him at least till Monday 😭😭 Anyways, I need food for my tumbly here soon, then I gotta go home and get him stuff, bla bla bla.

Being invested in my local #SherlockHolmes Scion society. Should I be Toby the hound or The Sussex Vampire??

I was hungry at like 9:30 and started making lunch at 10:50 😂 Anyways, my kingdom for a bag of Frito Lays. 2/2

Jim decided to have chest pains while I was making lunch. Now the food is cold on the countertop at home and my belly is rumbly-tumbly at the hospital. I’m going to need to make best friends with as vending machine soon. 1/2

It’s for the best even though $$$

Yes. He’s like I don’t wanna go it’s probably dumb and I’m like yeah it probably is but we’re doing it.

Jim’s having chest pains so we are at the ER. Here’s hoping it’s something stupid.

Concept: it’s ShulCloud. But it takes PayPal.

Yes. People with attention spans 😂

The rule is I’m not in charge of my leftovers if we eat out. I forget them every single time.

Just had the worst Old Fashioned of my life. It tasted like kerosine. Don’t ask how I know. There was no… stuff that makes it an old fashioned in it. It was all alcohol and maybe a squirt of Coke or something to make it amber. Yikes.

Niiiice. Doable.

I need this. I tweeze old school and ow.

I tweezed my chin hairs for this and I’m feeling so attacked right now.

Y’all… today is definitely being a whole thing.

I have no idea what the non-sticky part of the grilled stickies are but they’re sooo good. #EatNPark #Pittsburgh.

Doctor: You qualify for a vaccine for— Me: