the warlord of brooklyn 💵

I bet it’s okay to eat a little bit of lava

I wonder what the insurance payout on a $14,000,000 home is to rebuild?

I though AI finally caught up to us and it turns out a real person did this to their physical body and I’m actually happy LMFAOOO

honestly, the new year came and I still didn't eat my catfish and black eyed peas 😒 someone please get me out of this house

Y’all I went to bath & bodywork by myself for the first time and left out with:

2 big candles
2 body washes
2 body lotions
4 hand soaps
1 cologne
3 mini bottle of hand sanitizer
3 more smaller candles
(they was 3 for 25 🥹 idk if that's good but yeah.)

Total: $165

“Cooking with fresh groceries is cheap” uhhh do you have any idea how much it costs to get four ubers to bring me four tomatoes? And that’s only one ingredient

also, I dead have to force conversations with strangers so I don't forget how to talk. 3 weeks out from work and I can barely finish a sentence. regression is very interesting

maybe they put a texturizer, but I literally cut my hair in 2022, and I'm gonna have to big chop my shit again 😒 she's fucking annoying dawg, I wish I had normal ass parents

lmao so idk why I let my mom talk me into going back to the Dominicans, but I think she deadass conspired with them to give me a semi perm, she's been asking to play in my hair every since AND my hair won't revert 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

anyone know how to take out a catalytic converter? need some advice for a friend :)

being a native new yorker is having to walk 2.2 miles home from the dispensary and meeting the bus you were waiting on at the stop you normally get off at 😒

Idk if I even wanna take on the podcast venture, i low key hate what the internet has turned into

I’m so scared of anti intellectualism omg like a lot of people are overly committed to upholding stupidity and too comfortable with lacking critical thinking.

Knowing AI is being used to target people in various capacities to now seeing a tiktok of a man using OpenAI to control a model turret…sigh.

They talking about alien invasion and I haven’t even been able to get comfortable recording my podcast yet 🙃

sighing wistfully, missing MAD magazine, thinking on how they would've called it 'spotify crapped'

we really just out here with the dumbest of the dumb

the last time we tried, the police was shooting bullets, tear gas, stun grenades, pulling college students out of cars, enforced curfews coast to coast, debated on using heat rays on protesters, I mean the list goes on and on

If you start doing the work now you can be less of an insufferable bitch by the New Year!

Nobody has a worse mayor/governor duo than Adams/Hochul. I’ll take all comers on this one

I would simply make sure I have some allies to back my plan before trying to do a coup instead of just declaring martial law and hope for the best

oop!!!

I know when she wanna scare that big old mf she with she put a pan on the fire with some grease