here we go again

Joel Osteen

i don’t even like him like that & i firmly believe he would rock that nigga

And he’s not a sitting President and wasn’t the sitting President when he committed the crimes.

Once again the white mom biracial theory proves true

just opened this damn app & caught a stray this is crazy

if being skinny is your favorite thing about yourself you boring as hell, no shade. a whole snooze fest

The duality of people with adhd is always funny. Like of course I read The Divine Comedy by Dante Alighieri at 15 and sucked at geometry.

When my server brings me the food I ordered and it’s delicious

anyone that loves heat is kind of a sick freak
what are u a lizard

[anemics need not reply]

the “anti-cold weather” agenda is in full force
anyone complaining about the temperature in florida has so much nerve knowing we were just sweating our balls off literally a month ago

how is someone who ostensibly has so many jobs this unemployed

so obsessed with this glam
big hair
that wine red lip
her team has never missed

the Bible of Toast pg.34

*squints at entire existence* if this is a metaphor I'm not getting it

What if I quit my job to focus on soup. Just making soup and eating it

dolphins are jumping out of the water with a rainbow in the sky ALT: dolphins are jumping out of the water with a rainbow in the sky

How it feels to scroll the TL with no niggatheticals

me and my man against the world:

i’m rooting for everybody gay

i slept through the entire night the other day and i’ve been chasing that high ever since

Manifestation

my bestfriend literally volunteers her husband when i’m in need and i couldn’t be more grateful

a woman is sitting in the driver 's seat of a car . Alt: brandy on punk’d crying and falling in the grass

i’m so hungry and i don’t have any prepared food all i have is ingredients oh my goddd

presently hooked on saying “that happened to a buddy of mine,” even or especially when that’s not true

we’ve finally mastered the “no makeup” makeup look
it only took twenty seven years🧍🏾‍♀️

every burger joint menu looks like

THE CLASSIC
-Just like momma used to make. Tomato lettuce and onion with cheese of your choice.

THE BIG WET DADDY BURGER
-This nasty half-pound motherfucker comes smothered with sautéed mushrooms and onions, candied bacon, garlic aioli and a 4-cheese blend.

loving that pretty much everyone is using alt text here

Me watching my instagram story

X: Blocked people can read your tweets

Bluesky: We will send an agent back in time to stop the blocked person's parents from ever meeting