Unclassified Anomalous Humanoid

I had a crush on this schizophrenic boy in highschool and randomly remembered his name so I looked to see if he was alive. Not only is he alive, but he's thriving with a happy family, three kids and he's GORGEOUS.

i gotta piss but this crowd is cis

reported and blocked

i have this weird constant little fear that my testicles will regenerate somehow

I wish I had a giant refrigerated hamster bottle I could mount on the wall by the head of my bed.

I'm switching from using seed oils to strictly the fat rendered from the red right hands of hanged murderers

body count? bitch, what's your thread count?

there should be a circle of hell specifically for men who have negative opinions about body hair on women, like they should rapidly grow wool for eternity while being clumsily epilated the entire time

Noise rig idea: hot glue molle straps to the backs of pedals and weave them into a plate carrier and make the amps into a backback.

if I'm even remotely attracted to you and I know you in person, I can't be around you if you've covered your body in red or gold body paint or a thick coat of body glitter, I might have a heart attack or just vaporize immediately

why the fuck instant pot take longer to cook rice than stove? dumb future bullshit.

My legs are OK

EYE DIVINE CYBERMANCY MENTIONS
YOU GAIN BROUZOUF
YOU GAIN BROUZOUF

I can't remember what I look like five minutes after I look away from my reflection, I'm paranoid, and im having tactile hallucinations. I probably look like I'm on drugs, and time keeps blipping forward and looping, and I constantly feel like im being watched from behind unless my back is to a wall

I'm both awake and dreaming like two radio channels interfering with each other, while three other minds chatter in my head and vying for control of our body, I can't tell if my own internal voice is real because I don't typically think verbally, my senses are distorted, my memory is fucked,

I hate how when I say I'm struggling with my mental health, i feel like its received as saying im simply depressed. Sure that's also a factor, but a lesser one. I'm having complex surreal nightmare experiences that would take hours to explain.

I was eating from a box of chocolates until there were about five left and they were far apart, and then I put them closer together because they looked lonely, and then I cried really loud and screamed a few times because I'm socially starving.

Something once took me outside of time and changed me. I'm built different in ways nobody wants to know. There is a hunger in me with no throat to swallow.

I've got a feeling I'm gonna get really weird this winter.

One time I drank an entire pint of jager in an hour and took the mensa iq test and scored a 110 and now I'm scared to try it sober lest I find my score is higher drunk.

I am unironically built different in so many ways that I sound like an absurd character made up by a deranged lunatic.
I am a sterile superhuman with a fat stack of pointless superpowers I constantly have to find useful niches for.

Why did GM make the caliper slide pins so FUCKING SHITTY
FUCK.

Two images side by side of Asuka from Evangelion. The one on the left shows her with a smug relaxed smile and captioned above "thinking about working on cars". The image on the right shows her shaking her fists with an angry face, and is captioned "actually working on cars"

pussy taste like my life has divine purpose

you're under arrest for conspiracy to resist arrest

I had a dream that I had sex with some goddess named Mara and she gave me the ability to summon cars that represented the personality of the last person I spoke to, and apparently most of my friend group was represented by harlequin BMWs.

i will claw god's eyes out

wildly swinging between denying that I get periods and then wildly swinging emotionally while cramping and shitting my brains out during the same moon phase every month at the same time as my spouse

I was into older women long before I became one.

I broke through the "I can't tell when it's flirting" and turned into an utter menace, weilding the meta like a bludgeon and flustering people for shits and giggles.