Cassie

This platform is... not as good as y'all want me to believe, FB is dead, Twitter was hot garbage on day one, reddit has been bad for awhile. YouTube is basic cable. Streaming services are HBO/Showtime.

I'm gonna subscribe to the Dead Internet Theory. Wikipedia is all that's left. I miss geocities.

Brave of you to admit you ever used Twitter in a meaningful way...

It took scrolling this far to figure out who tf you are😆😍

One of my barriers to adoptilng bsky is I can't make a list of my friends without informing any random Nazi who my friends are. But if I don't, following even just a few frequent-posting celebs will completely dominate my feed

Why are they so afraid of autism. Is it the swag. Is it the autism swag

The problem with describing rather than labeling my relationships is I'll never have the opportunity to call my spouse my ex-[gender]friend. That joke is 🔥

Dolly's 👏 new 👏 album 👏

Listen on your best speakers. Don't look at reviews. Don't read the track names. No spoilers. Just press play and let it happen to you.

Even once I was giving him a ride home, he *needed* me to know know this was his first time. I feel a little bad for laughing as I reassured him that was obvious considering how bad at it he was.

I wonder how he's doing. (3/3)

He heard it click without turning over and I watched defeat turn to despair. It was probably needlessly cruel to let him try again before I explaining he had to push the clutch pedal to start a manual transmission. (2/3)

Sometimes I think about the guy I caught trying to steal my car at 10 AM on a Tuesday. He looked so defeated when he saw me in the driver's window. I was intentionally vague when I told him "how we handle this depends on if my car starts," gave him my key, and told him to start it. (1/3)

A few months back, my 3 year old ran out in front of me and blocked the doorway. "What's the password?"

"Uh... open sesame?"

As their eyes grew in to dinner plates they whispered "how did you KNOW?"

One of the awful things about American healthcare that I haven't seen talked about is the "intake appointment." In what industry do you have to pay *more* than a person's usual rate for the privelige of interviewing then to see if you want to hire them? It's sunk cost fallacy bait.

The Hubble telescope captured this magnificent image of the spiral galaxy M96, also known as NGC 3368, and is notable for being the same mass and size as our Milky Way galaxy. It is located in the constellation Leo, at a distance of 31 million light-years from Earth.

"Baba, can I have some apple juice?"
"But you already brushed your teeth"
"But I want a banana."
"The bananas aren't ripe"
"But I have a banana," they state plainly, conjuring a half peeled ripe banana. They bite it and sweetly ask "now can I have some juice?"

I've been outsmarted by a 4 year old.