Helena

Well that's quite enough news for today

We’re not sure why the Willy Wonka slot machine suddenly has stigmata

The forest was shrinking, but the trees kept cheering and voting for the axe because its handle was made of wood and they thought it was one of them.

Will life ever be the same again?

Find out in next week’s episode of: Not Fucking Likely.

In case you’re looking for something to do this weekend

True statement that often makes me feel terribly sad ashamed of the world we live in. 😪🙏

True statement that often makes me feel terribly sad ashamed of the world we live in. 😪🙏

Singin' in the Public Domain event tile, featuring the Lockette, expressing open content.

When the clock strikes midnight on January 1, creative works from 1929 & sound recordings from 1924 will enter the public domain in the US, like:

⚓️ Popeye
🕵️ The Maltese Falcon
📖 The Sound and the Fury
🇮🇹 A Farewell to Arms
🏠️ A Room of One's Own
🙌 Hallelujah
🎺 Bolero
and many more!

🧵👇

Oh the people outside are frightful

90s Nostalgia Doctor. A doctor points to a CE scan and says I'm sorry Mr. Kkowalski, but you have a brain tumor." He solemnly winces "she's lump." He dispassionately explains "she's lump..." He points to Mr. Kowalski's forehead and says "she's in your head..."

I never thought someone could eat a sandwich wrong until I had kids.

We MUST keep vaccines.
have you written your Senator to let them know?

Look, if I heard there was a place where half the people voted for their own destruction, I'd send drones to observe them as well.

🤨

Damn, that’s cold.

Ibuprofen isn’t enough I need to become an invertebrate

Rum apple pie

claustrophobia is so stupid. let Santa get married.

Photo of a black goat with snowy white ears and muzzle, peeking his little face over the edge of his stall gate.

Goodest good boy Shadow wants to say hiiiiii! 😍

prescription strength skin-to-skin contact

There is no exquisite beauty without some strangeness. ~ Edgar Allan Poe

Art teacher TO CLASS: REMEMBER CLASS ANYTHING CAN BE ART EXCEPT WHAT BORBY DREW TODAY BOBBY DREW PICTURE OF GOKU MAKING LOVE TO SPIDERMAN *PICTURE OF GOKU MAKING LOVE TO SPIDDERMAN* BOBBY HAS CREATED THE OPPOSITE OF ART

Orcas start wearing dead salmon hats again after ditching the trend for 37 years Orcas off the coast of Washington State are balancing dead fish on their heads like it's the 1980s, but researchers still aren't sure why they do it.

Embarrassing. They're going to feel so stupid in 10 years when nobody's wearing dead salmon hats anymore.

YOU ALREADY HAVE NUTMEG CHECK AGAIN

Kids be like. “Nice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it”

At the end of the day, don’t we all just want a bookshelf with a rolling ladder?