Tommy tomious

I found a crocodile in my bathroom and now she is my best friend ever I bet you don’t have an awesome pet crocodile like me!

😢

Fantano died!?!?

“Epic island vacation” he knew what was going on on the island and he decided to ask for an invite and refer to it as epic island fucking epic island

Chinese finger traps but two people put their dicks inside of them instead and it just becomes awkward

“Well what would happen if you were gay in Palestine”

I don’t know probably get hit by an Israeli airstrike?

Apparently giving money to egirls on the internet does not come under charity on my tax write off fuck this stupid baka government

Is there a way to wear an ahegao hoodie in a tasteful way where the fit actually goes hard or will I just look like a degenerate gooner if I wear one

Whatever you do don’t Google 67!

Didn’t even record it on purpose I accidentally hit record and didn’t even realise

Going through my camera roll deleting old videos to free up my storage and I found a video of me explaining who world of t-shirts is to my dad

Trump would be a fat loser freak chud if he was rich and powerful

I am still labelled as childish and immature but that makes people who label me as such bad people because they don’t know about my neurodivergence

How it feels to have all the swag and yet no swag at the same time

Even if ur a fat chuddy loser you have hope for romantic partners don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!

Being autistic is awesome cause I’m allowed to get up to silly shenanigans and goof around with no social repercussion whereas if I was neurotypical I’d be labelled as childish and immature

Pro masochist tip:
Call random people on the street slurs and they’ll beat the shit out of you 🤭

Christmas stats
12 pints
3 double whisky’s
1 Bailey’s

Pretty cool Christmas
More tame than I expected
Early night
Gn bluesky

Capitalism sounds cool in theory but in reality it sucks ass

Talking to people online is so much better than talking to ppl irl cause ppl online can’t smell my rancid body Oder and tell me to shower through a screen but ppl irl do

If you think about it everyone was asexual and aromantic at least once in their life

Voting is just deciding what colour strapon you want the state to fuck you with

Everyone fw me but I don’t fw myself

I know why my account gets no likes it’s cause Bluesky hates me just like everyone else in my disgusting rizzless life

Okay they didn’t say the disgusting loser chungus with a disgusting wabi sabi life part but it was implyed

I have had friends tell me that they used to have a crush on me and they all say they stopped after they got to know me better cause I’m a disgusting loser chungus with a disgusting wabi sabi life

Can we stop being political all I wanna talk about is minecraft, music and jerking off

Me if cursing was illegal
Me: frick

Autistic rizz is making a niche reference to a 2013 smosh video and thinking they’ll know what the fuck I’m talking about

I am an ethical gooner I use niche community based pornography platforms and websites so the porn industry doesn’t get any cash out of my gooning habits for the porn industry thrives off of manipulation, human trafficking and exploiting those who have no where else to go