Fresh Hell

I think instead of retirement, I'm just gonna start investing in a list of cool ways to die so i can choose the best one when I'm ready.

"Put the vodka sauce directly in my bean hole. Ba-da-bing".

The NFL wants you hopelessy addicted to gambling. Nothings more fun than gathering around with the family and friends to watch my favorite parlays hit.

Thank you John

Im eating shit in some Chinese food right now.

You ain't just getting your fingers licked there are ya?

And sometimes those who are buried are also for biting.

Elon got a body like he's one of those LeBron squishes that people pump full of water.

Creamy head

I've ended lives over a bag of cracklin

What a bunch of pleabs

Depends? What did you say?

🙏🙏🙏🙏

Let me introduce you to my friend free will. He's handsome, motivated, a little unpredictable but in a sexy way. Give him a call.

Who's to say

What about a blowtorch?

Please love me.

Men get divorced and immediately devolve into feral 9 year olds cooking calorie nests like this.

Way ahead of you my dude

That's when you turn to him and say, "And you will too."

Who gave this 5 year old internet access

Yes. And a big bowl of soup to carry in your coat. Coat soup is really important to the Polish community.

Bet your house smell like a medieval debtors prison right now.

This and some American spirit blues could fix me.

Come give papa a hug

And everyone clapped

Hey man. Haven't talked in a while. Miss you.

Love this for them

Same

This guy's whole life is scene through the lens of "hell yeah"