Eric Pfeffinger

“And would you like some foreign war with your stalled economy?”

Bill Clinton testified that he did not have sex with the unidentified woman in a photo, and I mean he wouldn’t lie about something like that

Hillary Clinton’s deposition lasted for over six hours. If we’re going to interrogate everyone who never met Jeffrey Epstein this is going to take forever.

I wasn’t present for the first day of school but the team has already reached out about a dumb editing error they found in the script so they’ve already passed the first test I obviously deliberately set up for them totally on purpose

Trump roars into the record books, delivering the longest State of the Union address of anyone in the Epstein files.

Well when you’re famous see you can do that

Sneak preview from tonight’s State of the Union address: Inflation is up, manufacturing is shrinking, the trade deficit’s at an all-time high. But im proud to say racism is still going strong. Let me show you this funny video, you’re gonna love it…

If I heard you mention a 1975 Jack Palance cop show called BRONK I would have assumed you were referencing some obscure Simpsons or 30 Rock joke

Trump has often said that “tariff” is his favorite word. And mind you this is a guy who knows upwards of two, maybe three dozen words.

Feeling down about the weather? Your job? A bunch of jerkos in robes just invalidated your favorite tariffs? Just watch Alysa Liu’s Olympics long program a few times and you will feel so much better. No prescription needed.

I’m like Anti-trans activists are so weird, why are you obsessed with what’s in other people’s pants? They’re like Don’t make it sound twisted! We’re only obsessed with what was in their pants when they were babies!

Thanks again to @ohioarts.bsky.social for selecting me as one of the 77 artists granted an Individual Excellence Award for my playwriting. Especially for such a weird little play. Means the world.

President Trump would like to acknowledge the passing of pioneering civil rights icon Jesse Jackson but you know what it’s like when you just can’t pick out exactly the right racist monkey video

Happy closing to our musical MAY WE ALL at The Fleetwood Project. It’s not an ending; there’s always another verse.

As wives are being publicly shamed for their husbands’ relationships with Jeffrey Epstein, I asked my spouse if she worried about her reputation if it came to light that I hung out with reprehensible friends. She said no. I was like aw thanks babe. She said well you never hang out with any friends.

is this how you meme

After dinner and for a small surcharge, everyone who ordered the fish will get an opportunity to compare their mercury levels with Mr Piven’s.

MAGA fans are disappointed about low viewer numbers for the Melania documentary and the Turning Point USA halftime show. But they hope they can shift that turnout with new laws requiring audiences to show a passport and a birth certificate.

My son, overhearing Pam Bondi’s testimony from today: “What is she doing? Is she drunk?”

La sangre coming out of her whatever

The president a couple days ago: I’m not racist, it was an unnamed staffer’s fault.
The President last night: This halftime show is too Hispanic.

Trump says don’t worry, that racist post wasn’t shared by him, it was the autopen.

Trump is basically just all conspiracy theories and racist memes now. He’s like your racist, dementia-addled uncle, if your racist dementia-addled uncle also has people killed.

A takeaway from the latest playwrighty controversy is that one should avoid, if one can manage it and it is at all possible, marrying a dude.

The latest Epstein drop has brought shame to the elites who engaged in unrepentant depravity. And a big sigh of relief to the elites who weren’t quite elite enough to get invited to the unrepentant depravity.

Introducing the Trump administration representative who will be securing and inspecting the 2020 Fulton County election ballots

Honored to receive an Individual Excellence Award from the Ohio Arts Council. And psyched that they awarded this grant in response to a weird and twisted play I kinda suspected no respectable outlets would ever be perverse enough to endorse.

To distract everyone from how badly he’s been losing on the issues of immigration and affordability lately, President Trump has deployed his DOJ to remind everyone of how badly he lost in the 2020 election.

Sure, $1,408,500,000 sounds like a lot of money to you and me. But when you break it down by the number of people this presidency has killed, that’s only about $3,000 per person. And as hit man rates go, I’m guessing that’s fairly reasonable.

I’m old enough to remember when the Republican Party was in favor of the 2nd amendment.