zzzzzzzzz

no more market value

🤡 (1/5)

Every now and then I think about how the world is the way it is because a handful of our billionaires desperately want to be cool.

It's bench day 🎀

pet me

send pics

would u like to choke on my saliva

fat people don't get to sit on trains

i would trust china as a global leader if they did right by taiwan

give ugly men a chance

i think we need rent control laws

all he wants to do is to suck dic and ride dic

oh wait sam altman is gay?

Sydney Sweeney in an American Eagle ad wearing a denim jacket and jeans.

I've had enough.

In this thread, I will tell you, definitively, whether Sydney Sweeney has great jeans.

This way, you will be more informed when shopping for your wardrobe . 🧵

3/3

2/3

Here's part 2! Part 3 tomorrow. (Reminder that the whole thing is on Patreon now!)

1/3

i won't follow people twice ya

I like that people enjoy this one. Feels nice sometimes to drop the pretense and let out my genuine wish that everyone achieve some sort of security and ability to appreciate and find joy in their idiosyncracies.

I find my cat annoying because she spends all day screaming, yowling, and begging for a pinch of Mexican Style Four Cheese Blend, but one day no one in this home will scream, yowl, or beg for Mexican Style Four Cheese Blend and I will be sad

the real threat is that nobody is copying you because you’re doing nothing worth copying

#BookSky

there's a difference between you cannot host and you don't wanna host

Just a lil something sweet before bedtime.

🎻🎶💙💙💙

A military official stands behind a podium and says, “We have no concrete idea what we did, what comes next, or what it means for the globe, but other than that it was a spectacular military success!”

Today’s Daily Cartoon, by Lars Kenseth. #NewYorkerCartoons

Sign up for our humor newsletter to never miss our Daily Cartoon: nyer.cm/C5b8PPA

I think it’s time for bed…

Chinese Hailuo 2 Shows What the Cat Olympics Would Look Like.

Mom's Friends' Cats

#booksky

"my bills come more than i do" 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭