'dro🐰

Donnie darko therapist meme Your order has shipped Has it really shipped or just shipping label Shipping label

I made this to express my feelings

Even an amoeba moves away from pain

if you ignore all your problems then really you don’t have any

put my symptoms into WebMD and it said I have a really old joke format

[fire dept] we’re here to test your smoke alarms

[me] oh i uh wasnt ready to cook but im sure we can set it off somehow

ChatGPT told me you've been asking about some weird shit.

Y’all mind if a white boy does a little unreliable narrating

What if I continue being weird and off putting? What then?

My mood withers the moment I'm out of my house

As you can see from my résumé, I am proficient in lying.

Bomb shelter? Don't over think it, bro. All you need is 1970s school desk to crawl under. I keep one in my bomb shelter.

My flight has a crying baby a few rows back and two guys next to me talking about online gambling. I've asked the attendant if I can sit closer to the baby.

Panic! in the panic room. fully expected

Me to Paul Newman’s family at the funeral: may his memory be a dressing

If ww3 goes nuclear, I'm going full Joker mode and starting a cult in the sewers

One apple per day can keep a lot of people away if you aim really well

oscar the grouch lived in a trash can, why can't i live in this applebees bathroom

Touché

It should be illegal for me to leave the house after I've had milk

As you can see from my clunky, unattractive ring, I graduated from high school.

If you could swing by and murder me real quick that'd be great

To be fair that describes pretty much everything I do and have ever done

My advice to people new to Bluesky is just to do it until it stops being fun and then continue for a few more years as a morbid form of self-flagellation.

Onlyfans but it's me sniffing unlabled spices

I've been more or less sober for about 3 years now but I still routinely rely on my phone to confirm what day of the week it is

commencing operation bitchin camero

Contrary to what doctors seem to think, you can't live, laugh, Lexapro your way out of an economy and government that is depressing

this user supports crows, ravens, and their agenda corvid haters unfollow immediately

I regret to inform you

I really need everyone to get less stupid