'dro🐰

It's great isn't it

Being an adult is mostly a drag but sometimes you can choose to have freshly baked chocolate chip cookies and milk for dinner

(at 13% battery) I’m fuckin rich

It’s bad for your mental health to know stuff

It happens

I may or may not have ordered 5 pounds of Tootsie Pop Drops off of Amazon yesterday (I did)

A storefront Christmas display in Japan showing Santa Claus on a cross. The text reads, "I believe Japan doesn't yet understand Christmas."

Santa died for our sins.

She’s so unbothered. Look at that lil smirk.

An inspiration, really

Apparently one of Maria's “favorite things” was stealing other women's fiancés.

wish it were possible to read multiple books simultaneously (literally, without alternating books)

Hey siri what is the best way to cook a badger

People that don't shovel their sidewalks out of laziness or apathy are definitely getting Krampused tonight. Krampused as fuck

I think I did a conundrum.

how bout you mountain 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 mf

parents act like they didn't pull your consciousness out of the void and force it into a human body

recording myself doing the running man so i can threaten to post it on tiktok the next time my kid sneaks on tiktok

PSA

the NUMLOCK stays on during sex

Your honor, I plead oopsie daisy

i’m celebrating black friday tomorrow to avoid the crowds

You're in his dm's I'm in his trash can looking for something with his DNA on it to cast a spell

Great news, I fixed the flaw in Bluesky where no one was liking or reposting my skeets by deciding to be funny

Red Lobster never released a commercial with a jingle that went “Shrimply having a wonderful Fishmastime.” That’s why they went bankrupt.

Look, I love Ryan Gosling and I'm not afraid to say it

There's an NBA player named Coward playing this season, and it's fun to see posts about a big dunk or block from him and imagine it's Noël Coward doing that stuff. Just one of life's small pleasures

Is it really more than I can shake a stick at? I mean, I don't want to brag or nothing, but I'm a pretty good stick shaker. Come from a long line of stick shakers. Stick shaking is what we do. Got a stick that needs shaking, well guess what. Stick shakers local 704 at your service.

Boo boo bootiful 🥰🐰

Blue got his first real haircut.💙

you're in his dms I'm in his dsm-v we are not the same

Bean, an orange and ginger cat, crouched with a grouchy face

Same kitty, crouched, refusing to even LOOK at her mother, who is SO CRUEL. FOR CHRISTMAS, I'M GOING TO BUY HER A WHOLE BAGUETTE

Somebody was told that, no, she's not allowed to grab and bunny kick a loaf of bread