mark

Fell three times trying to accompany the world's most basic errand run. trying not to think about return to work

me, to one of the fish at work, while personally hand-feeding him: you know in the wild you'd have to catch your own food. in the wild I wouldn't bring you lunch every day

the fish: 👁️👄👁️

Let me tell you something. Y’all are asking too many damn questions at every point of sale. I have to leave a comment, make a suggestion, donate to a charity, choose a method of payment three times and then multiple choice of ways to get a receipt.

Take the damn money and leave me alone.

my e-reader says I'm exactly halfway through my Nixonland read from ~2012, ensuring both that I forgot everything I've read but also still have the equivalent of a whole book left to read

For Americans struggling with high gas prices, remember that you can save money by taking little sips from the gas pump instead of big gulps

i don’t even own a car but i am on my third trip to the gas station to fill my bathtub with gasoline

These are the smartest kids on earth. They're winners. This is the true Art of the Deal. They let Trump write books about business and he lost money on gambling. Is it wrong to open a lemonade stand next to a construction site? It is not. Supply and demand baby. Get. That. Paper.

this isn't just a MAGA thing, it's a cross-American one and *especially* a lot of people who came of age in politics or punditry in the 1990s. the idea that the news could happen to them - that the world might not be all going their way - is genuinely brain-breaking to a lot of them

Breaking911 @Breaking911 • 1h 911 BREAKING: Over $805,000,000,000 wiped out from the US stock market today. NVDA -3.01% META -2.38% GOOGL -0.788 DECI AAPL -1.071 AMEN -2.625 AVGO -0.69% Rudy Sims, @rudysims Find ways to calm your nervous system

Placement of the second post/ad could not be funnier to me

Bug’s dentist has an emotional support dog on staff now and how do I get one at all my doctor appointments

"why did you become a writer" because no one gave a shit about my special interests growing up. now i make them everyone else's problem. next question

you may not like it but this is what peak cooking performance looks like

Maybe it’s hubris, maybe I’m just not a bad person or someone who defends bad people, but I think I could survive a Chotiner interview.

one was an Illinois farmhand who ended up an English professor. the other worked on the railways, died before I was born

The elder fraud applications of graphical generative AI are terrifying

one of the ten most popular games in the world every year for nearly two decades has been a swedish block game whose community has relied on modded content to share it online for the better part of a teenager's lifetime. there's let's play videos older than a big chunk of the player base

congratulations!!! be careful; my spouse got the wrong red jacket and suddenly started getting sent on insanely dangerous away missions...

you ever think how at any given point in time there could be a group of grad students studying a mysterious vat of satanic liquid beneath the halls of an ancient monastery and the liquid starts possessing the grad students and the rest try to stop the apocalypse and we wouldn’t know it was happening

Everything is bad so I'm going to drop a non-political hot take: I think the trend of opening marriages is bad and society needs to go back to one person having an affair, not liking it, and getting it out of their system instead of blowing up their lives. We should be more French.

I love this. I think my wife would kill me but I'm assuming you have a pretty fucking cool idea or two for it

a line of tall trees, its night and a cresent moon can be seen

Jan Mankes’ Evening Landscape, 1912

be bad at your new hobby who cares

sounds like they're fixed to me

i am extraordinarily pleased

America can, must, and should blow up the Moon

Despite being a scientist and atheist, girlfriend refuses to visit known purported haunted house. Claims this is “white people shit, asking for trouble”

McLovin is learning cat etiquette today.

Color photo of a man with brown hair and tan or brown skin, leaning against a very cool huge teal car. In his hands he’s holding a tiny white and ginger kitten that seems like it might be wearing a collar and leash but it’s difficult to tell for sure. Palm trees rise up in the background.

All the coolest dudes love kittens. Photo from my collection, no date/info.