nash flynn

if i had a nickel for every time we started doing unconstitutional war crimes in the middle east with a clown for president i’d have ,,,, wow that’s actually quite a few nickels ngl

started at the bottom and somehow made way more bottom to be at

sorry i am fresh out of progress, gonna try regressing this year

dear diary, it’s day 2 of the blizzard. i can only open one door of my house. my youngest child has resorted to making balloons from ziplock bags. my older child is in the bathtub with a snorkel. the colour of green grass is but a mere memory

it reminds me every time that english is a garbage language made from garbage

just fyi i am at capacity for caring about monkeys. thanks in advance

i am choosing to believe this instead of ruminating on why i cannot make a simple phone call without crying first

people in their 30s when i was a kid seemed so much more adult than i do in my 30s and i have realised it was probably because of all the being able to comfortably afford life on one income

happy birthday prince bitch, we all chipped in and got you some consequences for your actions

i do not have a drug problem, i have a drug solution. everything in my life other than drugs is the problem

missing the good old days when eggs were two dollars and we could successfully impeach a president for sexual misconduct

sure life sucks but at least we have pancake tuesday

was about to text an ex gf when a stern voice near me said “stop! you’re making a very poor choice right now!” i put down my phone in awe of a stranger trying to save me from ruining my life, but then i realised it was a mum yelling at her kid who was running thru a parking lot with his eyes closed

𝐓𝐨: @itsnashflynn.bsky.social

SOME for ME GLEN COCO

microdosing being healthy and having a social life by re-downloading the sims

pam bondi is the anti-elle woods. i am taking questions on this

hey france if you’re not busy could we borrow one of your sharp family heirlooms

i got left the lobby, what does that mean

is it attention seeking or a power move if i pass out at a children’s hospital? asking for an enemy, which is me obviously

i was just getting my parking validated and the woman was like “great news, because you have a handicap placard you get $5 off your parking today!” and unfortunately it really was great news because parking in boston is one thousand dollars

we should stabilise bluesky by allowing us all to be verified jerrys

you’re all good friend it is not a serious post because my body is being real unserious about getting diagnosed with anything

i grow weak for ankles tbh

omg so historical of me

i’m gonna let you guys diagnose me instead, wrong answers only

thank you my friend 🙏 me too

i am cured, thank you sir you did it

i have fainted four times in two weeks and i am so grateful for this ER doctor who asked me when my last period was, demonstrated the sound of a normal, regular heart beat near my bedside, asked if i had anxiety, and then sent me home to continue fainting all over my house i guess

just watched a person refer to low rise jeans of the 2000s as “historically accurate” so i don’t know if you guys are busy this weekend but i am hosting my funeral