"Pulling a Nessie" - taking a shit so long the end sticks up out of the water.
"Leaving a Nessie*" - earning bonus points by "Pulling a Nessie" in the office and not flushing.
*not recommend for home use, may cause divorce.
"Pulling a Nessie" - taking a shit so long the end sticks up out of the water.
"Leaving a Nessie*" - earning bonus points by "Pulling a Nessie" in the office and not flushing.
*not recommend for home use, may cause divorce.
I'm full of alcohol and piss, and at this point it's mostly piss.
01.03.2026 09:07 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0People always ask if you kiss your mother with that mouth, but no one ever asks, do you want to kiss me with that mouth?
01.03.2026 03:03 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Sexual Education: Ramsay Edition
IT'S RAW YOU FUCKING IDIOT
I really would appreciate it if the bathroom would stop attempting to mummify me. I may have to contact HR.
01.03.2026 02:50 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0The Belfor automatic mummifier, sucks every last drop.
28.02.2026 17:33 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0To our passengers who have been in a coma since the 90s, we would like to remind you that smoking is prohibited in the terminal.
16.02.2026 21:08 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Half-digested Greek food, I choose you! -projectile vomits at you-
16.02.2026 20:50 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0We can not afford an erection, we do not have those resources.
16.02.2026 13:41 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0I wish i had a scale to find out how much this food poisoning is helping my diet.
15.02.2026 07:32 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Food poisoning speed run champion, MCFC '26
15.02.2026 07:17 — 👍 0 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0Air your traint out in the executive bathroom! the only room in our facilities that are below body temperature.
15.02.2026 03:18 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Knees weak, balls are heavy, spaghetti on my wang already.
10.02.2026 03:10 — 👍 1 🔁 3 💬 0 📌 0This little piggy had an abortion. This little piggy had none, this little piggy went uhhn~ oh, fuck while taking a shit in a public restroom.
14.02.2026 05:37 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Good luck with Mr Ed’s cum
14.02.2026 04:45 — 👍 3 🔁 2 💬 0 📌 0Nobody makes a good asbestos glove anymore
14.02.2026 04:46 — 👍 4 🔁 2 💬 0 📌 0Will it bleed: the gameshow
14.02.2026 02:59 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Diarrhea near me
14.02.2026 02:55 — 👍 5 🔁 4 💬 0 📌 0Pay per shit
14.02.2026 02:54 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Corn hole for blind people
13.02.2026 23:08 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
The time estimate chart for airlines:
Less than 5 minutes: at least 15 minutes
15 minutes: 15-20 minutes
Any moment now: your flight is canceled.
Infant life vests, powered by the lives of no less than 50 infants.
13.02.2026 09:35 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0American Airlines, when you're here, you can get fucked, asshole.
13.02.2026 07:57 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Knees weak, balls are heavy, spaghetti on my wang already.
10.02.2026 03:10 — 👍 1 🔁 3 💬 0 📌 0Some Bostonian guy is about to get his butthole blown up by La Vic's chorizo.
07.02.2026 01:10 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
How many ding dongs do you think the Hamburger Helper™️ Glove®️ has jerked off since 1970?
04.02.2026 23:58 — 👍 11 🔁 5 💬 3 📌 0at least one, don't ask how I know.
05.02.2026 01:17 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Amphetamines? No, no, I said and feta cheese!
03.02.2026 05:15 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Biblically accurate furbies
03.02.2026 05:04 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0HE'S KEGELING, I CAN'T GET OUT.
03.02.2026 03:12 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0