Amy Stow

What are my wishes for 2025?
Financial stability
Not feeling alone daily
Not feeling like my body is trying to sabotage me
Contentment

So in the last few hours of 2024, let’s reflect on what the year brought me:
Health? You’ve got to be joking 👎🏻
Wealth? Not even close 👎🏻
Happiness? Nope 👎🏻
Success? Negative 👎🏻

I can probably count my pros for the year on one hand, but they were there

After a bath with me barely able to stand, Keeva decides this is the night she’ll sleep on my bed. Cue me falling asleep with the smell of a wet dog (honeysuckle flavour rather than rotting liver flavour). But the important thing is that my puppy is ok & thats all that matters 💚

I get back into bed, only to realise where the smell actually came from. The rotting liver juice had fallen on Keeva when she knocked the trap. So at 11pm my mom and I were giving Keeva a bath, which isn’t so easy considering I’d taken my strong sleeping tablet earlier..

Panic ensued thinking she’d eaten poison, so we woke my dad who informed us that the trap only contained chicken livers left to rot and attract flies 🤢🤢
We feed Keeva some biscuits hoping it fixes her bad breath (it didn’t)

My mom comes to my room asking about the smell which has permeated the whole house. We go outside & discover the source of the smell. My wonderful dog had jumped up & dislodged the fly catcher the was hanging (quite high up) from the shed.

Keeva is lucky she’s cute, what follows is the saga that unfolded last night.
So I’m in bed reading & Keeva comes into my room with a rather repulsive smell attached to her, thinking she’s walked through something outside I proceeded to check her feet etc but find nothing…

One of my favourites! The scent of jasmine is just intoxicating ☺️

For the first time in atleast 5 years I’m staying up past 8pm because I’m simply not tired… the best part is that I’m still not feeling the full impact yet, that comes in another 2 weeks or so

It’s been exactly a week since my iron infusion and I can’t even explain the difference it’s made. From Thursday last week (the day after) I was already feeling less fatigued, so much that I don’t feel the need to nap! My brain is clearer and even my colour is better. It’s like a switch was flipped

Omg it’s finally raining!! The smell is delicious 😌
Hopefully this helps break the god awful humidity we’ve had the last few days

And here’s my top 5s just incase 😂😂

Amy's Top Songs 2024

Don’t just show me your Spotify Wrapped top 5s… I want to see your top 100 playlists please!

Link to mine below 🫶

open.spotify.com/playlist/37i...

Looking forward to seeing my therapist tomorrow and discussing the fact that I might not be crazy after all 🙃🫠😂

Getting booked in on Wednesday (that’s the earliest I could get off work) for scopes to find the source of the bleed and then an iron infusion. Doctors are insisting that I take it easy until then (but still have to work 🙄) they seem to think anything activity will push my system over the edge

So I got my blood work back today & the doctors can now agree that I’m definitely not making this up… with my iron levels at around 2 despite being on supplements, everyone seems quite concerned (it was 4 in June pre supplements), my ferritin is 7 and saturation 3%.
So basically my blood is useless

Booked my next set of medical tests today, starting with (more) blood tests. They’ve taken so much blood over the last few month I’m surprised there’s any left.. Scans book for mid December. Here’s hoping for some answers this time 🤞🏻 #medicalmystery

I imagine if I could get to the point of being debt free, I could actually be this relaxed. This photo is Keeva after training on Saturday, she slept in this position, with the fan blowing on her tummy for atleast 90min 😂

I had a thought today driving home from work, about how much better my quality of life would be if I could just clear my debt. I know that’s not anything new or groundbreaking. I wish there was some work from home data capture or something I could do inbetween my other 2 jobs 🥺😩

Highly recommend! Some of the episodes are super long (I listened to them when I had to drive 7 hours recently!). Format is that Simon doesn’t read the scripts beforehand, so you get his off the cuff reactions and predictions along the way

Have you listened to the Casual Criminalist? They cover a wide scope of murder stories from various countries, but Simon (the host) normally doesn't go into too much depth with describing the crimes themselves

Ive had periods in my life where Im in the dark & twisty place, but I always got myself out of it.
This time feels different, this feels like it doesnt get better, that there's no way out of this & this is just where I remain.
Please excuse me while I go cry in the bathroom for the 3rd time today

This permanent state of exhausting has had such a toll on my mental health. It's so difficult to find joy in anything when I feel like my brain is foggy 99% of the time. Yes, there are moments when I can still laugh, but those are few and far between

Im so over being exhausted permanently. It doesnt matter if I get the "perfect" amount of sleep, eat right, exercise, do the things I'm told to do, Im tired no matter what. I'm not talking about "I could do with a nap tired" I mean being on the verge of passing out at my desk or while I'm teaching.

🧵Time for a small rant/woe is me post.
It's now been over a year of me not being well, having various tests done and still not having any answers beyond "your iron and hemoglobin levels are low". I've been on iron supplements for 6months now with zero difference.

this is very difficult to remember sometimes. I often feel completely invisible, as if not a single person would even notice, let alone care, if I wasn't around

I hope you realise how much these messages mean to people.
Often if I'm having a bad day one of your posts will pop up and all of a sudden things are a little less gloomy.
x

I'm determined to make some progress with my to do list today, even though I'm dead tired and feel like shit. Maybe getting things done will perk my brain up a bit

Team Durban here 👋

Part 2:

Books:
📚 a song of ice and fire series
📚 the wicther series
📚 any romcom books
📚 bios- specifically from musicians or holocaust survivors

TV & Movies
Top gun (og and maverick) & Easy A are my best.
Tv I’ll watch anything serial killer (criminal minds) or medical (Chicago med)

#promosky