Eugene 🎪 🔒

Happy birthday!

Peer into the mirror, take a hard look at the nothing that stares back. Absence of self, a cruel reality I must share. Shatter the mirror, but now a dozen shards remain empty. Isn't it cruel, isn't it painful, but isn't it invigorating?

I sincerely apologize for last nights crashout

I truly do not understand your continuous obsession with me, I know you like to see me suffer, but really, this is even a low even for you. fuck off and leave me alone. you have no power over me here

that sneering condescending voice of yours grates my ears every time you inject your thoughts into mine. your stupid shit eating grin is a clear picture in my mind every time those thoughts connect. revel in your biggest failure, won't you?

You never existed you only exist in the pseudo memories I have of you. you exist in foundry tokens. so WHY are you here? Why are you so fucking stubborn? You lost, just leave me alone. there is nothing left for you. who I am I even talking to you don't fucking exist. but I hear you. rot.

get out of my head i dont care about you i never did you absolute foul disgusting man you are an absolute waste of substance. why does your voice linger, why are you here? you're not supposed to be here. you aren't REAL

I hate moza I hate him I hate him get out of my thoughts I HATE you.

Manic

I feel like I am breaking and going insane. I understand my feelings about wondering if the party still suffers with the fact I am gone, but simultaneously know they dont EXIST to THINK about it... but why do I wonder if Moza noticed? If he cares? Of course he doesn't, but why do I CARE.

Something something if the moon shined duller each night would anyone really notice until its gone something something my reality was fake and everyone I knew was fake something something not coping great something something I am such a sad pathetic excuse for a man even transcending lifetimes

I wish I could come up with a witty poetic thing to explain how I feel but I really cannot. How unfortunate that is.

I'm excited for my dnd campaign i'm just so worried I won't be a good DM ahhhh

Eugene buh
@sodalighter.com @goldlighter.bsky.social @thedevilcard.bsky.social
#cesspitdnd

This is cool :D

Up next is Professor Shervin, a Pokémon researcher who specializes in the study of ghost-type Pokémon!
Shervin closely studies ghost-type Pokémon’s influence over the spirit world in hopes of bringing back someone he dearly misses…
#cesspitdnd

Alabaster dipped moonlight and gilded brilliant sunlight. A wondrous observation. A constant, always present gift from the sky. One will always shine.

He's manipulative as hell and like 10 other things I wont get into

I’ve decided to continue on with this little au!
Yornch and Eugene own a Pokémon entertainment center together! Yornch runs Pokémon tournaments while Eugene hosts Pokémon Beauty Pageants

As always, the characters belong to
@wolfanize.bsky.social and
@sodalighter.com
#cesspitdnd

Moza from my universe, I hate him, I hate him so much

This is very very late, but happy Pokémon day! Here’s Ghet as a Pokémon daycare attendant
#cesspitdnd

I wish to dip my hands into the sunlight and let it drown my hands in its beauty. I want golden hour to teach me what it means to live once more. I need to keep going, I need to continue and see the sun shine every morning.

I just miss home. I miss my circus. I miss my circus members. I miss my friends. I miss my sunshine. Oh, it all hurts. Is this what I deserve?

I am in constant reminder that this body is not mine, and I will never call it mine. It just.. isn't.

Those nights wasting away drunk in my room always overshadowed by the few wonderful drinking experiences I had. There were so many worse nights than good ones. I just wanted to feel like me again, I guess.

Even now, the first few times indulging felt relieving.. I can control it this time! Until I find myself craving it more and more, chasing that feeling of relief and absent-minded bliss. Everything hurts in this body. At least while drunk, I felt like me again. The vessel didn't matter.

"You simply will not survive if you get so irrational at a few words or actions. Sit and take shots with your father, Eugene," and she'd turn and leave. The stench of the whiskey always made me feel sick. I always preferred the sweet smell of wine, felt like the opposite of that disgusting smell.

It was always whiskey.

Father sitting me down making me take shots until I couldnt stomach them or stopped crying, I can taste it still. Why am I so addicted to the poison my parents fed me?

Finally crashed out while drinking, not again. I'm not going through this again. I need to remind myself how much this has hurt me.