Elizabeth Heighway

Well that's terrifying 🫥

Years ago when I was casting about for some kind of spiritual framework a priest told me he thought I'd make an excellent lapsed Catholic and I honestly don't think anyone's ever summed me up more efficiently.

An eternal mystery as to how the adhesive on HRT patches is simultaneously not strong enough to hold the patch on and so sticky the residue is still there 2 weeks later.

Feeling invincible today after managing to find my father an *actual pillow* in A&E last night during a city-wide critical incident, without having to steal it from another patient 💪

I suggested I get t-shirts made to help the kids easily see what stage I'm at (penultimate draft / intransigent problems / final edits etc) and act/avoid accordingly. Eldest raised one eyebrow somewhat languidly and said they somehow didn't think the heads-up would be necessary. Hm.

My household just LOVES Penultimate Draft Libby - overstimulated, twitchy, annoying, pedantic, mercurial and surrounded by a force-field of anxious energy so strong you can see the sparks coming off it if I stand too close to the radiator.

Goodness, I put this on my list just before it came out and then promptly forgot, so thank you for the reminder!

If you're wondering why dinner's late it's because somebody absent-mindedly added 4 cups of water to the okra instead of 2.
#longsimmer

My dad abhors any negative comments about immigrants. Asked him recently why he’s so strong on it: ‘Because we’re always happy to take the rich and clever ones. Which means it’s not about disliking immigrants. It’s about disliking the poor and vulnerable. And that’s a bad human instinct.’

Surely tiny clothes for the mic while you stand there buck naked

A plea to writers who want to make ambiguous allusions to films in their texts to at least make them *good* films, so that poor translators don't have to spend their Saturday mornings watching badly scripted crime tedium from the 80s.

Any day now. Why are push-ups so hard?

The music kind, not the chop kind (unless bluegrass, obvs).

Signing a contract. Buying myself a mandolin. Take that, AI.

Review | Stalin’s Cola — the story of Georgia’s famous Lagidze lemonades In his latest documentary, award-winning director Stefan Tolz examines Georgia’s premier lemonade company — and why it failed to beat Coca-Cola.

🎬 OC REVIEWS: Stalin’s Cola — the story of Georgia’s famous Lagidze lemonades

That's what my mother said circa 1982 and that's why I'm now a penniless translator instead of an incredibly wealthy lizard-whisperer.

A famous translator/poet once asked me "is there much call for that sort of thing?" when I told him I translate from Yiddish, lol, which I thought was a bit rich coming from a poet

Slacker.

Luckily none of it is remotely true. Phew.

Flexible 33 1/3 rpm record labelled 'A personal message about your new Hornby train set from Bernard Cribbins'

I mean sure, why not.
#loft

We had one of these on the high street between the B&M and the CashConverters but the guys from The Happy Plaice torched it cos their fishcake sales went right down.

Seems unfair that swinging this wildly between 'Actually this is quite good' and 'My very existence brings shame upon all translators' doesn't count as cardio.

Interactive COP30 Exhibit Allows Attendees To Be Shot Up Into Air On Big Spurt Of Oil

Interactive COP30 Exhibit Allows Attendees To Be Shot Up Into Air On Big Spurt Of Oil

უალენდელონობით გათანგული. Ualendelonobit gatanguli. Consumed by AlainDelonlessness.

*takes two aspirin*

🙂

You know, the spinning wheel of buffering before the post loaded properly - also pretty accurate 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

Who can tell, Mordecai? Certainly not me, that's for sure.

Somebody needs to do a PhD on how much ambiguity Georgian literature can tolerate but it's not going to be me because I'm too busy lying on the floor crying into a saucepan and praying for a meteorite strike.

🥴

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