Oli Without Spoons

People keep trying to convince me that I, a disabled, mixed race, trans and queer person, am being melodramatic and that I'd be 100% safe going to the US. One person even dared to tell me if I was so worried I could just not say I was trans cause I look like a girl anyway (I'm afab).

I thought we left jumpscare videos in the early 2ks.
I have PTSD hypervigilance, heart issues, and an autoimmune reaction to cortisol and adrenaline

I DON'T WANNA DIE FROM SOME STUPID FACE COMING OUTTA THE CORNER OF PHONE PLSSSSSS

A lot of people might find it odd that my and my wife's couple song is Bobcaygeon by The Tragically Hip, but the people who don't find it odd are usually the people who sadly understand why because it could very well apply to them
#trans #nonbinary #queer #married #reconnectingnative #spoonie #lgbtq

Hot. Flashes.

I'm burning alive.

Oh yeah, this, 100%. There are salons near me I could get regular washes at but it's almost more energy used when you add the executive dysfunction and anxiety 😭 Do you at least trim at home?

/6 Native Americans believe our memories and experiences are stored in our hair. Maybe that's why I was a robot when it was short but started gaining control back as I grew it out.

Finding out I'm of Blackfoot and Métis heritage reinforced this belief.

#reconnectingnative #cptsd

/5 It gives me the emotional and mental stamina to exist in this dystopian hellscape.

Every time I trim the damage I feel like I'm trimming a bit of her control.

/4 I started growing it out two years before I escaped her control. By the time I was no-contact, it was to my bum.
It's heavy, difficult, gets damaged and is hard to care for.
Cutting it off would make my life easier.
Or would it?

/3 Every time I started growing it out it'd get chopped off. She was a hair dresser and found it "an insult" for me to get haircuts elsewhere.
When I became more autonomous in adulthood it was ingrained in me that long hair on fat people was unattractive.

.

/2 My mother forced me from a young age to keep short hair. At 9 years old she braided my hair one morning and chopped it off (I later found the braid hidden in the cupboard years later.)

Olive skinned person with glasses in an orange tee puckers their lips as their face is surrounded by long dark wavy hair

Olive skinned person with glasses and an orange tee smiles up at camera with long dark wavy hair surrounding their chubby face and cascading down their front

I always get asked why I grew my hair so long despite how much trouble it gives me as a disabled person

The answer is multifactorial however the biggest reason is that it helps me overcome some of my trauma /🧵1

#cptsdrecovery #hair #longhair #nativeamericanhair #identity #nonbinary #spoonie

/2 anyway, I get why people dig it. I do. I just found myself sighing in aggravation the second half through. It lost me 🤷🏻‍♀️ I'll probably read a synopsis of S2 out of curiosity but I've got a long drama list going on and I don't need more lmao Btw, have you watched Light Shop?

I was generalized quite a bit (a problem I'm working on); the ending with the old guy twist was great. I just have a huge side eye for the amount of unnecessary gore, and I'm not usually bothered by gore, I was just finding a lot of it.... unearned? Idk it's hard to explain my brain is mush 😂

Tonight my tea was a mix of Valerian, Decaf Green, and Peppermint. I took two aspirin. I haven't been this calm of mind and free from chronic nerve and musculoskeletal pain is so long I'm tearing up. I still have some aches, but mostly my body is floating. I'm gonna sleep tonight!

Haven't watched S2 because it just lost me halfway through S1 and went from genuine criticism to snuff porn. And then having to hear how the creator's a poor artist because tv networks said no to blood, gore and sex on broadcast 🙃

Oh yeah, art from "Troy", eh? 😂

This looks like French comic art from the late 90's fr

a close up of a man 's face with flowers on his ears ALT: a close up of a man 's face with flowers on his ears

A couple weeks ago I was groaning about people calling 30 yo #jeffsatur "Uncle" but tonight I'm gleefully giggling about those same people calling him "Auntie"

There's about 45+ confirmed biological sexes and gender is a social construct. So much for your "scientific fact"

I had planned elk steak for tonight but I forgot to defrost them and I'm tired so it's gonna be the #Spoonie special of spagghetini noodles with frozen veggies sautéed in oil and dried herbs

Picture of a round dinner plate featuring sliced duck breast near bottom, shiny soft baby carrots with parsley flakes on top left and Stouffer's stuffing mix on top right.

Duck breast tastes like Prime fucken Rib 🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴 (can't have beef bc of #mastocytosis). The sides are just the #mecfs special (canned carrots and box stuffing. Not great for mast cell shit but not the worst in my case)

Gender is not sex and vice versa ugh Just for that, another gender has been created!

CARTOON OF THE DAY

Garden snail with light brown body wearing a yellow shell with black stripes perches diagonally on a green leaf with pink flowers seen in the background

This is how I'm going into 2025: androgynous and hungry