sloppyanna

jd vance and erika kirk in a very uncomfortable hug

Me and a liberal when they finally have the breakthrough that tankies were right all along

had a dream some boomer was trying to brake check me so I performed the most perfect pit maneuver ever and sent him spinning into the side of a bridge :)

Yesterday he spoke to me but he is very soft spoken and I am hard of hearing so I pretended to hear him and then laughed accordingly. Idek what he said, he could've said the saddest shit ever.

Work crush is dressed so 😍😍 today.

And then they yell at you because their check hasn't come yet, like I'm the bitch personally holding it. Hehehe you're not getting your VA this month, I'm using it to buy drugs!!!

me: "hello--"
average vet over the age of 50: "yes, hello. Please let Rush Limbaugh know i have received his instructions from beyond the dead and I will carry out his plans accordingly."

Me: "how can I assist you?"
Some vet with the most severe PTSD ever: "yes, I am being targeted by Home Depot. They are trying to murder me."
Me: "okay, great!"

My cat has somehow learned that if she actually fucking slaps me in the face, I'll stop what I am doing and pay attention to her. It has made SLEEPING a big challenge

working with vets is actual hell because most of them are extremely entitled, a lot of them are in an active state of psychosis, and in many great instances, some are both.

work crush wearing the tightest pants today

Fucking weeping at the guy on Great British Bake Off baking the loaf of bread in honor of his dead friends and prue leith saying it was faultless

Threw my mother a cute surprise 60th birthday party with a quiet dinner at her favorite place now I'm having intrusive thoughts of quitting my job and becoming a professional party planner

all these colonizer american flags at the no kings rallies has the shit looking indistinguishable from a trump rally

idk who Perfume Genius is but I'm seeing him live now and its like TOOL if Maynard James Keenan was gay

DJ at this Pride fest did a Azealia "212" mash up playing it over Amerie's "One Thing"

picketing Pride but its me holding a sign telling the gays to stop bringing their dogs to Pride

My work crush wears polo shirts tucked in but I can forgive him

had a client whose last name was guido today. So I had to continuously refer to him as Mr. Guido while we discussed sensitive information.

I have never understood how tim allen is as famous as he is -- he's like if your right wing uncle told a funny joke maybe once a year and then failed upwards

gordon ramsay loves a fucking tie. he loves breaking ties. it's his staple. #HellsKitchen

Pot roast coming soon

I love my elder comrades, many of whom have been in the struggle for half a century, but fucking hell, the way they fall for AI photos sends me over the edge every time

Libertarian socialism? More like *makes diarrhea-like farting sounds with my hands*

me: ideologically this shit is weird to most of the third world
this clown: yeah well what about the anarchist third world societies i just made up

about to cancel my mom's 60th birthday party if she doesn't stop sharing these ai rage bait pictures on FB acting like they're real

Love my new morning routine of speed walking on the treadmill for the duration of one [1] episode of sex and the city

You ever get so fucked up you start craving chef boyardee

Chapter 28, Communists

Me when my twink supervisor messages me

drop unalive fred