Erin Paget, née Dees

ughhh, PERSPECTIVE, thank you predictive text (derogatory)

“if someone else discusses my crimes, that’s just… like… their predictive”

Me: “This pre-roll ain’t shit”

Also me: “They should print the Blue Screen of Death on underwear

…

BLUE SCREEN OF DEPTH!”

Maybe one day we’ll both have a tight five in time for GallowsHumourFest

A half year after my rape, my wife and I had the following convo:

Her: “The waistband of those jeans looks like maternity pants 🤩”

Me: “❤️ Oh? How far along am I?”

Her: “About three months?”

Me: (doing math) “…Glad it’s not six months 😬”

World’s shittiest club to be in, etc. etc., and honestly thank you for the dark humour 🖤 bc the jokes I have told about mine have horrified my friends

Tá sé iontach / It’s excellent!

I’m starting to suspect that that guy in a trench coat outside my local branch wasn’t in fact the official b-hole inspector

New tattoo on my bicep. Medusa with geese in place of snakes. Me-goose-a

She have goose
Instead of snek
But mostly she
Do a protecc

#MedusaTattoo #MeGooseA

Half of a hollowed-out watermelon, filled with its own juice blended that’s been blended with ice.

The perfect hydration, both electrolytically and symbolically, to fuel up before the Run for Palestine

Ohhhh, that makes sense. My surgeon made it to poodle and then just sighed. I had to bribe her to move forward with the surgery

I’m imagining the criteria are the quality and loudness of the balloon squeaky noises?

Me, to @lynguini.bsky.social after I’ve had an edible:

“Call me Miwwer, ‘cause I’m your High Wife”

A random frame of Hank Hill speaking, coincidentally juxtaposed with a skeet from @funkelly saying, “be the bird poop atop the owl statue you wish to see in the world”

I can only hear this in Hank Hill’s voice, thanks to my skyline

Tantalizing. Good. A glimpse of the future with a grain of frustration

The feeling of something being almost within reach. Going through it now with Irish

My wife looking like an absolute snack

CEO: People keep quitting since we ended remote work, but we found a solution!

ME: Letting people work remotely?

CEO: Nope. Contractors!

ME: Will they work from our office?

CEO: No, they'll be fully remote.

ME: *Sigh* Are they cheaper, at least?

CEO: Oh no. Way more expensive!

The governing party of the United States is shutting down the federal government to cover-up evidence the president sexually abused children so he can continue trying to implement dictatorship.

That's just a true statement about the world!

🎵 “My meow-er over you / Grows stronger yet” 🎵

Big agree on this! Eve is a great character, and she should've been the sympathetic one in that side story.

Also, we Stan all bimbo queens round here. No scapegoating exuberant femininity around me, dang it.

My son calls his T “rooster shot” 🐓

The short version is this person was "vibe coding" and gave the LLM direct access to his production database. It decided to delete the database. Then he started asking questions like it's an actual human with accountability. And it basically said "oops".

You are not unclean. You are not a vessel for sin. You are not the creation of others. You create yourself.

The Em Dash Responds to the AI Allegations “In recent months, a curious fixation has emerged in corners of academia: the em dash. More specifically, the apparent moral panic around how it is...

"Just because I’m not on the keyboard—and you have to add two extra steps for me to appear correctly—I’m suddenly the product of some soulless technology?"

Huffing at people doing “purity tests” and the purity tests are dont aid a genocide, concentration camps, and persecute queer people

Kai Hansen for the win, in every band I’ve heard him in

It’s always “Soviet architecture is so dystopian” and never “its dystopian that the capitalists that took over the country haven’t build better, affordable housing in decades”

Ravel, “Bolero.” 🫩 To spend that long going nowhere musically, emotionally, energetically.

Engraved line of chinese poetry captioned "Stroking the sword while lamenting the social realities" (tE 剑伤世路），engravedbyShen Qianqiu. Ming Dynasty (Fig. 14)

Who up stroking they sword while lamenting social realities