A Rather Bewildered Owl

y'all ever look back at your life and wonder if maybe you were an unwitting participant in a failed government program to create some kind of super cop?

cause like why was that gifted program I was in so focused on forensic science and fitness challenges.

but of course people with the time to be a mod don't want to be a mod, only weird losers want to be reddit mods because they think that will get them the respect they crave but have never experienced.

they'd probably be respected more if they took a shower.

called out a reddit mod for not doing the job they volunteered for and they banned me.

if you don't have time to be a mod and have to make automod do everything, don't be a shitty loser when people call you out for it.

what you should do is stop being a mod.

it has come to my attention that the average redditor believes that things done at gun point are done willingly.

ordered groceries to be delivered and the guy tried to tell me he'd delivered them when they were still in his fucking car.

a grey, brown and white tabby cat lays as close as she can to her person's arm.

I do believe this small, furry creature loves me.

calling landlords parasites is incredibly rude to parasites.

American small towns suffer immensely from brain drain and the stupid people who can't leave said towns get really mad when you point that out.

nurse: this medicine is killing you and we need to lower the dose.

client: NO, I NEED A HIGHER DOSE, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

oh god he also built model trains, he was amazing.

using heat from data centers as a means to desalinate water via distillation is actually not a bad idea, even if we drop AI internet infrastructure still wants a lot of cooling.

I love how there's a step when making good spaghetti sauce where if you just added noodles and bits of chicken you'd have the best chicken soup ever.

I blame the 1980s ninja turtle cartoon for the cheese pull fad.

things redditors have told me are too difficult within the past hour:

1. chewing
2. watching a ten minute video on youtube

redditors are currently mad that the animals they eat have bones in them and that you have to chew your food.

reddit is a great website for making you feel like our species is doomed because holy fuck does that place attract idiots like flies to shit.

thought of a new mascot for the Democratic party, a duckling with a TBI.

because they've been about as effective against fascism as a duckling with a TBI.

just remembered, I think my cousin had a brain tumor she named Paul. well I know she had the tumor, I can't quite remember what she named it.

I'm buying myself an absurd amount of cheese curds to make myself feel better about the future.

the future is still fucked, but at least I'll have a belly full of fried cheese.

Paul Lipp

we're gonna be stuck with Newsome in 2028, aren't we? and then we're gonna be stuck with Vance as president because literally no one but boot suckers (they've gone past licking) wants Newsome.

can someone explain how a power outage would cause the internet to go out for an additional 7 hours after power is restored? is that normal or is spectrum just incompetent? well, I know spectrum is incompetent, but are they EXTRA incompetent?

it's weird because doesn't follow the party line of putting forth a candidate who is basically guaranteed to lose but won't do shit if they somehow win.

hiring trolls is all he's good for. gotta attribute credit properly.

no. Gavin has an intern who is good at troll trump.

once again the fake socialists on reddit are mad that I pointed out it's bad that North Korea kidnapped and murdered a Japanese child and banned me from another one of their subs.

they can't be having socialists look like reasonable people, might end up with another Mamdani if that were allowed.

Salt would make a great name for an anti-ICE organization 🤔

was concerned about a client, he'd been acting really weird all day. got him to go poop. now he's fine.

guess no one on day shift actually went to the bathroom with him and told him to sit down so he was just doing the thing where he walks into the bathroom, flushes the toilet, and then leaves.

these two were my immediate thoughts. maybe there are tiny robots rebuilding their nervous system as we speak, but until that's done and they complete their PT they need a way to get around. the alternative is they never go anywhere for however long it takes to treat whatever this is.

a grey and white tabby cat lays on the floor, squirming about adorably, her face is just out of frame because she will not hold still

the creature has a new nickname, squirmy wormy, as she is squirming and zooming about this morning, see attached picture of her inconveniently yet adorably squirming slightly out of frame.

what do you mean he's a convicted felon.