Starting up some new salem witch trials but to sus out the lactose intolerants.
07.05.2023 23:02 — 👍 1 🔁 1 💬 1 📌 0Starting up some new salem witch trials but to sus out the lactose intolerants.
07.05.2023 23:02 — 👍 1 🔁 1 💬 1 📌 0Oh your restaurant is inclusive? You let everyone in? What about people who are annoying, or worse, what if they’re bad?!
18.06.2023 05:48 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Pinin’ for a simpl’r time before mirrors were invented and if’n ya wanted to see yourself you had to catch a warbly glance in the surface of a bubblin’ brook.
20.05.2023 17:51 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
The Great Gatsby
11.05.2023 17:39 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0not nearly enough gays on here, doesn’t bode well.
10.05.2023 03:38 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0Aren’t they all?
09.05.2023 04:31 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
08.05.2023 23:01 —
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The Art of the Seal
08.05.2023 18:35 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0@poetickate.bsky.social greetings daughter of the long aisles. Thy handmaiden has informed me of your required accommodations. The council shall convene at midnight for a demonstration of your power.
08.05.2023 02:33 — 👍 2 🔁 1 💬 1 📌 0“Dunk him in yogurt ter see if’n he floats!”
08.05.2023 00:33 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0Starting up some new salem witch trials but to sus out the lactose intolerants.
07.05.2023 23:02 — 👍 1 🔁 1 💬 1 📌 0Fellas, is it gay to eat cereal out of the mouth of a live crocodile?
07.05.2023 22:56 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0My psychic says henchmen are “sufficiently productive”
07.05.2023 22:55 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0First date idea, we swallow ourselves whole like snakes
07.05.2023 00:32 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0@parkermit.bsky.social Welcome pardn’r, tie up yer horses and shine up yer spurs, yer at yer journey’s end
06.05.2023 21:49 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0My psychic keeps telling me the last thing I need are “followers”
03.05.2023 18:34 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0Like too little lotion scraped over too little skin
03.05.2023 18:31 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
“Part of this complete breakfast”
(It’s just a couple dried noodles and the ants that found them)
Behind every good shitposter is the most repulsive living room you’ve ever smelled
03.05.2023 18:03 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Gettin’ myself real greasy before my lunch with the queen
03.05.2023 18:01 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0the fbi doesn’t want you to know how slippery babies can get. They’re covering it up.
03.05.2023 06:09 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Lost another job because they didn’t like all my homemade perfumes and ointments and salves
03.05.2023 05:56 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0First date idea, we defuse a bomb I planted
03.05.2023 05:13 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0First date idea, we both clean out our voicemails
03.05.2023 05:11 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Bats don’t have nearly enough eyes
03.05.2023 05:10 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Update: he was too tall, back to the drawing board.
03.05.2023 04:46 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Working on a new guy. I’m told people like when they’re outrageously tall so I’ll try that this time.
03.05.2023 04:45 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0Just saw a lady walking a dog that was easily twice her size. Like melt both of them down into two different vats of goo and you got a 2:1 dog-to-lady goo scenario going on.
03.05.2023 04:29 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Thank you comrade. May the wind cease and the rain burn.
03.05.2023 04:27 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0