🏳️‍🌈Gosh Darnit of the New Jersey Darnits😷

It's 5 PM? But it was 3:30 like a couple minutes ago. My Lords.

I couldn't figure out what to watch, so I put on the Roku yule log channel with soft piano jazz.

Neat autistic brain trick, as the yule flames pulse I "feel" heat pulsing against my skin, and can smell wood smoke.

Hallucinations! What fun.

But that's who I am and I don't care if it offends you because it's how I survive.

Thanks, pals.

And thanks to the autism it's all delivered deadpan and my face expressionless.

I'm a mix of Daria, Wednesday Addams, Jess from New Girl, and an elementary art teacher with forays into Delirium of The Endless.

If that's not your cup of tea, that's fair.

I cope by having a truly awful sense of humor with dicks in a blender, nuns ice skating in hell and drinking puppy juice.

"Thanks, I'm going to go walk into the ocean, goodbye forever," and "We can test that theory by pushing her in front of a bus," have left my mouth on more than one occasion.

I've lived as a undiagnosed autistic woman and survived by wearing a mask the entire time that I have trouble removing now. I'm also very mentally ill and currently not medicated.

This came up on Facebook again, so just posting this as an FYI about me.

"I just pissed someone off accidentally so I need to make this clear again.

I have lived through a lot of trauma - abuse and rape. Cancer."

Woke up to my notification sound and the bank telling me I'm overdrafted by $44.

Okay. I'm just gonna close my eyes and pretend I didn't see it, because my other idea is just screaming into a pillow.

He declined the idea of running for state governor, but funded housing and food projects. “I’m smart enough to know I’m not smart . . . I don’t know about building roads and bridges, but I know that there’s people that should be fed in New Jersey.”

i looked at this earlier and the article is very careful not to say what actually happened but if you know history and you know this administration it is impossible not to assume programatic eugenics and anyone involved in programatic eugenics should not be allowed to see the sun ever again

I picked up some pre-made dishes at ShopRite, so had stuffed cabbage I just microwaved for 3 minutes.

I ate a real dinner (stuffed cabbage rolls) and drank some electrolyte water. Took my meds.

I feel more anchored in my body, but the body is sad.

I have until Sunday to get my shit together when K comes home. 🤞🏻

Today started great, and then right before lunch, I went into hard disassocation.

Didn't talk to anyone, didn't speak out loud, and for a solid 3 or 4 hours I didn't move.

I missed lunch or drinking water. Stood up and wobbled from dehydration.

Every once in a while I like to go to Jet Pens and imagine finding the one piece of stationary or pen that will fix and organize my entire life.

www.jetpens.com

The shutdown was an excuse, not a reason, to go after SNAP.

SNAP recipients have to re-apply either every 6 months or year. Onerous process, with almost no fraud.

There are no shutdown-related requirement for SNAP renewal. But it would predictably result in low-income families going hungry.

I was paying for my groceries and when I turned to leave, this older gentleman at the next register lit up and told me I'm doing good. No elaboration. Just I'm doing good delivered with a smile.

I have no idea what I'm doing well, but I'm excelling!

Go me! Just out there being awesome. 😁👍🏻🎉

I slept through all the way to 10 AM crazy.

Unfortunately I feel like I'm not anchored in my body.

When I'm under stress for so long, the removal of a stressor means weirdness activates.

So I just went down for three hours. I didn't even realize it was happening.

I was drinking iced tea, took a sip, and woke up 3 hours later.

My mind is yelling, "It's midnight," but it's actually like 8:30.

I'm still exhausted. My Lords.

Exactly.

I know for a fact I'm going into a low, and there's no grab and eat stuff in the house or money for take out. I'm going to spend the next 3 days eating toast and being unable to escape from under my blankets.

Half way home from court a wave of exhaustion hit. Like the traffic slowed and I closed my eyes for a second and actually micro slept until they started moving again. I put down all the windows and the A/c up to keep awake.

Made it home. Agent K is off with his dad.

I'm shutting down like a robot.

Dismissed completely.

We're in the court room. K's clinging to dad with one hand and pushing his umbrella stroller with Bullseye dog in the other.

We're waiting to meet with the prosecutor.

Leaving an hour earlier for the court than planned because neither of us can sit still. We're tripping over ourselves and dropping things.

Anyway.

Wish us luck.

Patrick Stewart as Jean-Luc Picard in Star Trek The Next Generation sitting in the captain's chair, hand's gripping both arm rests, wearing a gray and black star fleet uniform with the words Damage Report on screen.

Every morning when waking up.

Over easy eggs cooked in kimichi on a plate being poked by a fork.

Kimichi eggs. Delicious.

Women who were fat in middle and high school have dysfunctional romantic relationships as adults because all our crushes treated us like our interest was monstrous and predatory, and called us stalkers. And now as adults we're all chronically independent.

GLAAD put out a report that last year's LGBTQIA+ count of characters on TV is slated to be reduced to 200 in the coming year. Those characters just not returning.

Our representation is fading in the face of fascism.

You guys have to banging on about trans people being dangerous to children, Bill Clinton being a pervert, calling Biden a child sniffer.

Now here's your worship object with evidence against him.

He's been your whole personality for nine or ten years now. What will you do? Honest question.

So now that the emails were published implicating Trnmp and the files will be released which he's so going to be in how will you conservatives explain this? Because it will come down to do you support a pedophilic convicted felon, or not.