Luke 🏳️‍🌈

‘You in another decade’

Me in another decade didn’t use AI and I won’t be upgrading its deepfake skills for fucking free, thanks.

Stop feeding the monster, please.

Kenya bleeds charisma in a way that countless other queens wish they did, though. And the last two weeks she has been fab. The axe will swing for her soon but I was glad to see her get her flowers this week and last.

Yeah but Plane Jane isn’t a star. Put her in an improv moment like The Pit Stop and she flounders. Not witty nor insightful. I find her mostly dull.

That’s why she defaults to being a cunt — because it’s easy. Being funny takes smarts.

a woman covering her mouth with her hand and a cw logo in the corner ALT: a woman covering her mouth with her hand and a cw logo in the corner

God is in the small things

If I really wanted to upstage you I’d have got it from the back…

Have at it.

Evidently I’m going to have to put together a jock-and-walking boots look. Stand by.

The absence of footwear

He is fine as fuuuuuck

What sorry why

Just heard the UK Eurovision entry.

We’re cooked. 3-0 defeat.

I DESPERATELY need to do a clothing haul… retail therapy is real!

The world is on a knife edge so I made an appointment with the spicy biro.

You look dead fit babes.

I mean, yes, in the same way that the Second World War probably goes back to the Japanese invasion of Manchuria in 1931. But most people still think of 1939.

Russia/Ukraine is very Cold War-y because NATO countries are not directly involved. But this shit with Iran feels different.

How far into this do we acknowledge that the Third World War has now started?

Okay hands up, who had Spain on their bingo card as the new leader of the free world?

It’s going to be the end of humanity but sure let’s give the tech bros one more chance!!

This just in, people who work for their money fed up of fucking having none. More at 11.

Boom Tikka Wow Wow taken, was it?

The pensioners will not be satiated until the country burns.

I love the idea of making my own fried rice but I never remember to boil rice in advance? Like who is that organised???

I live in a 21st-century property that isn’t connected to the gas network so we’re lucky our bills won’t be affected by the inevitable war-related price hikes amirite guys!!!!

Look at the vote count.

Turnout is massively UP at a by-election. Greens gained more votes than Labour lost.

Obligatory haircut thirst trap.

Today I am eating my feelings. And apparently I am having a lot of feelings.

Could you not….

We’re gonna need it!

If Tottenham were really planning ahead with this latest managerial appointment, they’d have gotten Scott Parker from Burnley.

He’s a master at getting teams out of the Championship.