Beige Mom Sleep Paralysis Demon

Teo telling you that you should see what's in the newsletter and sign up

My Newsletter just went out, but if you want to be a cool kid, you too can see it: mailchi.mp/34c180ed4bde...

Designing the Yacht Interiors — Love, Joolz So what does a laser yacht look like on the inside? I did some watercolor exploration to find out. I’m mostly focused on the Captain’s Seat on the bridge, because that’s where most of the dramatic f...

Omg let me tell you about my boat watercolors

www.lovejoolz.com/hurricane-ve...

Jules taking a calm selfie at the beach. She’s in a pink bikini top and dark sunglasses. Shes holding up her surfboard.

So I had a wardrobe malfunction at the beach, so here’s a rare photo of me with a board and a bikini.

You can see the gas prices are literally a dollar and change. Like that photo is OLD.

We must find this private equity guy and make him stop

Woof, yeah probably

a man with long hair and a beard is holding a glass with the word huh on it Alt: The Dude from the Big Lebowski with a caption of “Huh?”

Rite-Aid is closing.

Girl how do you fumble a pharmacy in a pandemic that hasn’t actually ended yet?

You must’ve been popular in science class

I fell down the rabbit hole and wow why would you just admit in public you can’t keep up with your wife, one world’s hottest milfs? Why would you do that?

Love, Joolz - AI Waifu — Love, Joolz Will Neckbeard ever find true love without giving out his credit card number?

The problem when you try to marry your AI waifu

www.lovejoolz.com/blog-love-jo...

Pretty Woman is the Becky fantasy of being able to be a 304 but still getting a rich white dude in the end. It’s overrated.

I live near Orange County and yeah women in white SUVs are nightmares.

This is my Roman Empire

The show Girls has a penultimate episode where Hanna straight up hates on surfing and no other piece of pop culture sends me into a rage like this.

Who hates on surfing? How little joy in your heart must you have to hate gliding on mother ocean?

You ain’t missing much.

a man talking on a phone with the word help on the bottom right Alt: Adam Driver calling for help after getting caught in a dinosaur movie with the caption *help* on screen

Me: I don’t care to watch shows about an all-white cast in New York.

Also me: *Hate-watches the entire series of Girls*

Me: I blame Adam Driver

a woman in a blue shirt and jeans is sitting in a chair with her hand on her chest . ALT: a woman in a blue shirt and jeans is sitting in a chair with her hand on her chest .

The entire 90’s: Hey do you want to see a show about a bunch of Friends in New York?
JR: yes I love Living Single

I skipped The Dark Knight Rises and I regret nothing.

And why would I ever watch Friends? I’m from the Bronx FFS

You’ve never seen Titanic? I’m a little envious TBH. I wasn’t allowed to escape that clown show.

I’m so glad Weight Watchers went bankrupt.

I’m sorry

A coyote perches on a few, small moss-covered ledges sticking out from an otherwise pretty shear limestone cliff. Boreal trees grow on the edges and on top of the cliffs.

A coyote perches on a few, small moss-covered ledges sticking out from an otherwise pretty shear limestone cliff. It's looking down at other coyotes (out of frame) on the ground. Boreal trees grow on the edges and on top of the cliffs.

A large coyote with a decent-sized fish in its mouth pauses in its climb up a limestone cliff. It's partially obscured by the frees growing on the cliffs.

As it turns out, coyotes are good climbers. They loped up and down these limestone cliffs like they were mountain goats. #mammals 🌿

Your friend needs to mind their business. Diagnosing your friends is weirdo behavior.

I love a woman with legs for days

“No political stories” is just code for “we are a bunch of wussy crybabies who can’t live in reality”

Why they gotta be hating on Victorian stories? They literally took pictures of dead kids cuz it was the only photo of that kid they’d ever get. That’s sufficiently spooky.

That part

It’s yer pal John Lees!

Jules taking a selfie by the coast. You can see a couple surfers walking with their boards on the shore. Jules’ board is on the ground again.

This was literally me yesterday.

Jules chilling by Tourmaline throwing up a peace sign. The sun is behind her because it’s golden hour. You can see Jules’ surfboard on the ground behind her. It’s a funboard, not that you asked.

I saw a DHS video with a caption “America after we deport the alien criminals” and a bunch of stock footage from the 80’s. Like that’s the America they wanna go back to.

That video had surfing as if you can’t surf today.

You can. The waves are even bigger than the 80’s because of Climate Change.