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The sun has not yet risen. I stand, nude & glistening with Crisco, in the light of a Cinnabon-scented candle. Wordlessly, I slip into denim underpants, acid-washed jeans, and a denim vest over my bare chest. My feet ease into Timberland Slip-On Boots & the candle flares as my sexual energy explodes.

a dalmatian with small brown spots all over sits up and smiles up at you with a goofy open-mouthed grin and sparkling light brown eyes. he is wearing a white plush unicorn horn, and he’s balancing beautifully on one front paw. both his ears are inside-out, but he doesn’t have a care in the world.

This is Timmy. He's here to wish you a happy Tripawd Awareness Day, celebrated of course on 3/3. It’s his lucky number. 14/10 (IG: jackson_the_dalmatian)

We need to put all of our best scientists on making sure there's a targeted therapy for whichever cancer Bruce Campbell has

That word is the equivalent of someone chewing right next to my ear.

I'm blocking any fitfluencer who says BOOTY. Or juicy. Or even peach. I'm having a visceral reaction to it at this point. In the year 2026 can we focus on being prepared to flip cars or something.

Bunch of entitled dinks

Ew you know how I feel about this.

You have terrible reading comprehension for a teacher if you think he was talking about the present day.

I want to be cremated. Not necessarily when I die. Surprise me!

A wet white and black shih tzu gazes to the heavens and calls upon Cerberus to strike down all who would dare to wash his stinky little body.

White and black shih tzu looks all fluffy and white and quite pleased with himself.

Oh, the humanity; it's bath time!

I love these people saying relax and let brown people die who cares about them it means the Republicans might lose in the future so it will be okay

You know how I think we got here? Must have been sometime in the 70s and '80s when anti-bullying campaigns really picked up. We told kids to turn the other cheek, to walk away because that made you a bigger person. We let bullies keep being bullies and stayed quiet like that was a strategy.

a orange and white cat half wearing a pink and white striped hoodie.

Let Mr. Beans and his ill-fitting shirt see you through the rest of the day.

Dorothy: Toto, I have a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore.

Toto: Thank God, what a fucking shithole that place has turned out to be.

I wonder if his wife is secretly enjoying the break

How I chortled!

Cool Hand Luke finished the final egg, proving his mettle, as Toasty Paw Gord's eyes narrowed in disdain. Oh, how he hated Luke and his fucking cool hands.

Ohhh. What a find!

Dear god

I can't decide if I even want to know what this is. Do I click? Do I remain blissful and unbothered?

Racism, Ableism, and the Burden That Kills Beyond the Book: Michael B. Jordan, Delroy Lindo, the BBC and the decentering of Black humanity.

Racism, Ableism, and the Burden That Kills
open.substack.com/pub/ijeomaol...

You use the R slur like it's in your everyday vocabulary, so I won't be putting any stock in anything you have to say.

Wow, what a disgusting person he is.

My new Roman Empire

What the actual fuck, @wired.com ?

I spelled Alysa wrong but anyway. I avoided the Internet all day today so I could be surprised.

Oh my god Alyssa Liu you QUEEN 😭😭😭♥️♥️♥️♥️

If he doesn't get his medal, we riot at dawn

a tiny brown & tan chihuahua in a pink sweater is sitting, looking up at the camera. two white strands of hair stick out the top of her head. they’re curled into a perfect heart.

This is Lexa. She really hopes you’ll be her valentine. Wouldn’t want to waste this look on just anybody. 14/10 (IG: bambiandlexa)

Yesssssssss!