Yes but was the lip sync good?
08.03.2026 04:48 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
06.03.2026 04:58 —
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I’m sure they have a banana they could lodge in my throat
03.03.2026 23:18 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0There are a group of hot firefighters at the grocery store right now and I’m about to start playing with matches
03.03.2026 23:09 — 👍 10 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0For a rainy dreary Sunday I had a solid sweaty workout
01.03.2026 22:43 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0They should be booted from the train immediately. Or at least shown to a non quiet car since they must be illiterate and couldn’t read the signs
01.03.2026 22:41 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0It’s 80 degrees out. Is it acceptable to start summer fridays yet? (Important to note: my company doesn’t offer summer fridays)
27.02.2026 22:34 — 👍 8 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Not the pinky promise!
27.02.2026 06:04 — 👍 5 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Woke up at 3:30 and couldn’t fall back asleep and have too many meetings for a mid day nap. Might just fall asleep on my keyboard fuck it
26.02.2026 17:38 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0He’s going to be a judge on drag race. He needed to reiterate that he’s straight
25.02.2026 04:59 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
More like back shot hotel
24.02.2026 14:42 — 👍 6 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
I wanna Wendy on his Willams until
he’s how you doin?!
Meh I honestly just needed to get that one out of my head.
22.02.2026 21:46 —
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Shared contact info with a man at the bar last night and found out today that the only part that saved was his Apple ID email.
22.02.2026 21:41 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0Show me your Lyft driver
19.02.2026 03:27 — 👍 16 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0Show me your Uber driver.
19.02.2026 02:04 — 👍 6 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 1
I know where I’m going for lunch
17.02.2026 16:52 — 👍 14 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0I’ve been keeping two sick days stowed away: one for the day of and one for the hangover the next
16.02.2026 06:13 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0I know one way in which I would love to spend Presidents’ Day tomorrow if we were to be so lucky
16.02.2026 06:07 — 👍 7 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0Wisconsin boy. Can confirm.
14.02.2026 04:20 — 👍 12 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0🙋🏻♂️🙋🏻♂️🙋🏻♂️
12.02.2026 20:36 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Needing hump day humping
11.02.2026 19:54 — 👍 213 🔁 3 💬 3 📌 0All the Puerto Rican celebs in the halftime show and no Ginger Minj?
09.02.2026 02:37 — 👍 16 🔁 1 💬 1 📌 0Yeah I’m a part of the NFL; the National Foreskin League
08.02.2026 23:41 — 👍 66 🔁 3 💬 4 📌 3
The hungover horny is strong today
08.02.2026 21:09 — 👍 23 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
Me the second everyone left my Valentines Day Party
08.02.2026 09:07 — 👍 44 🔁 0 💬 3 📌 0Tag yourself
31.01.2026 01:17 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
When he says you have a pretty hole
30.01.2026 22:06 — 👍 30 🔁 2 💬 0 📌 0
