Firing up the left handed cigarettes and listening to 18 Randy Newman songs before bed
07.03.2026 08:17 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Firing up the left handed cigarettes and listening to 18 Randy Newman songs before bed
07.03.2026 08:17 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
My new thing is going up to random people in the grocery store and telling them "Has anyone ever told you look like *insert random 1980's celebrity*?"
Today was Mary Lou Retton
Drink Dr. Pepper™️ until your nipples fall off
04.03.2026 00:04 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Have a credit score that's a picture of Don Knotts from Three's Company? Got a sock full of loose toes? Bring it in and we can get you financing on a new Kia down here at Tommy Vajankleson Hyundai Kia
01.03.2026 18:36 — 👍 2 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0When you roll up to Montgomery Ward and close the sliding door of the van on your dick AGAIN
01.03.2026 02:08 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0You're not dying of cancer bud, you just shit your pants
01.03.2026 02:05 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Any place you hang your balls is home
01.03.2026 00:13 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
28.02.2026 17:10 —
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A gas station bathroom toilet full to the brim with marinara sauce
28.02.2026 05:54 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
A Wheel of Fortune puzzle reading "Don Knotts celebrity vajankle bash 1979"
I thought this was a fever dream, but if it's on Wheel of Fortune, it has to be real. Also I was there.
27.02.2026 00:46 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
“Would you like the soup of the day or the soup of the night?”
“What’s the soup of the night?”
“NyQuil”
“I got them eating out of the palm of my ass”
23.02.2026 01:34 — 👍 4 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0
Boom-boom in the Zoom-zoom™️
Mazda®️
Please do not crash into my 1972 Volkswagen Rabbit. My piss jugs are full and they do NOT have lids
16.02.2026 03:44 — 👍 5 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0Just doing drugs in Lincoln Nebraska
16.02.2026 03:16 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Does the Chevy Astro have a Vajankle™️ holder?
15.02.2026 06:34 — 👍 1 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0Can you bronze a vajankle.?
15.02.2026 05:06 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0What are the tariffs on vajankles™️?
15.02.2026 03:13 — 👍 1 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0Good luck with Mr Ed’s cum
14.02.2026 04:45 — 👍 3 🔁 2 💬 0 📌 0A 1973 Chevrolet pickup truck with a 17 foot long bed that you just call “Long John”
12.02.2026 06:36 — 👍 2 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0A shit brown 1976 Cadillac that you call the Poop DeVille
11.02.2026 17:47 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0wtf is cookiepuss?
11.02.2026 00:05 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0Knees weak, balls are heavy, spaghetti on my wang already.
10.02.2026 03:10 — 👍 1 🔁 3 💬 0 📌 0I got the job because according to my resume I was regional manager for the Midwest at Radio Shack 1979-2013
08.02.2026 15:15 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Wire NUTS
I never leave home without my Ideal® brand Wire Nuts™!
07.02.2026 18:31 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
This time, I'm mistaken
For handing you a hog worth cranking
-Nickelback, 2001
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Yes lol
05.02.2026 00:22 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Yes.
05.02.2026 00:21 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0However many it takes to bring a new meaning to giving a high five… errr… four.
05.02.2026 00:00 — 👍 1 🔁 1 💬 1 📌 0