bec noir

#homestuck #parodystuck

pretend i spelt that right

fire. mcdonalds. oven. four hours. no lives lost unfortunately

sorry guys it took three months to rebuilt
#homestuck #parodystuck

theres a present waiting somewhere for you (its an explosive)

he stood there in that exact position for nearly three hours before abruptly asking us for a burger with no prompting whatsoever

sorry fellas going back to jail i couldnt do it anymore
#homestuck #parodystuck

mayor in the house yaya

i'm so sick and tired i can't bother to deal with this for a SECOND TIME
#homestuck #parodystuck

That was a really nice night.

kind questioneer asks if noir will indeed wear wigs in the future

usually i opt to just spit in people's food but maybe if i'm really bored that day
#homestuck #parodystuck

day off well spent.
#homestuck #parodystuck

its actually tradition at our workplace to wear wigs as opposed to hairnets specifically in attempt to get as much synthetic hair in the food as possible.
#parodystuck #homestuck

weekly check-in. egbert and father egbert receive a delicious meal

#parodystuck #homestuck
updates will be incredibly infrequent. real life matters call. may speed up around thanksgiving but ill try to get back on top of it all sometime soon.

a close up of a hamburger on a bun on a white surface ALT: a close up of a hamburger on a bun on a white surface

here it is!

you can steal whatever you want from here, as long as i don’t see it
and if i do i DONT care. i need a raise…

bringing a bomb into work tomorrow. i swear upon it. i swear.

#parodystuck #homestuck

troll thing.

jackspers likes to set up the salt shakers up over conveniently plate-resembling landmines. blame him.

haha imagine having clones

handsome and dashing individuals

years ago...
#parodystuck #homestuck #igotlazywiththisone

#parodystuck #homestuck

GRANDDAUGHTER. I JUST KNEW YOU'D GROW UP IN FAVOR OF MY TASTES.

PATA PATA PATA PON

sollux and tavros have recovered the buns!

oh.
#parodystuck #homestuck

fuck ignore my typo im literally suffocating and about to die.

#parodystuck #homestuck

local badass steals shitty ai 'artwork' from cryptobro off of google to accentuate point.

my final message(?):
well this is where i die. sollux and tavros are gone. i think they're dead i don't know. i'm lost and oxygen is thin. i threw my shitty hat *real* fire. i want to be remembered as a badass, not a fucking frycook.
oh well at least i wont have debt in heaven goodbye everyone

mcdonaldscorp thanks you. #parodystuck #homestuck

jackspers posting on behalf of the fake ass noir here. thanks for this epic milestone. if bec was here i know he'd be celebrating in the form of one of his stupid hissyfits.

#parodystuck #homestuck

brave and valiant soldiers continue their trek into the caverns.

update:
sent an emergency message up to jackspers to post using the self-order kiosks. we're approaching 4~ miles deep. wheels boy just took a straight dive down the steps of this thin ass staircase and we haven't been able to find him yet. oxygen is thin.
if i die, for the record, i regret nothing.

me tavros and sollux heading down into the basement. the path from here on is uncharted.

sending us down into the caverns to find the moldy burger buns since we ran out upstairs. wish us luck and pray that the goliath remains asleep.