Sara, no H (🐏🏀 24-6, 12-5 ACC)

Sorry, what?

Oh yeah, it's illegal to own a lot of those feathers outside of a tribal context. I found this out when my mom found an owl feather while walking in a cornfield and had me Google whether it was okay for her to keep. It was not. This did not stop her 🤷🏻‍♀️

A balding man with a mustache sits at a drawing table in front of an unfinished comic strip, turning backwards in his chair and waving, with his other arm draped over the chair. He says "People ask me every day, 'where do jokes come from?' 'How do I make a joke?' 'What IS a joke?' Today I'll be giving you a closer look." We now see a pink blobby creature wearing one of those novelty arrow through its head. "here is a joke in the wild. But what makes it work?" With a loud 'BONK', the pink blob is bludgeoned with a hammer. "First we humanely euthanize the joke." "Now we can see inside the joke. Let's observe." The lower half of the image is a diagram, in red, of the pink blob creature, the joke, autopsied, with pins holding it open, and lines pointing to different organs labeled as follows: Pyloric Ceca Chuck Sacks Note the absence of bones Pathos "silly" gland secondary ruminant stomach swim bladder cloaca The cartoonist pops up again at the end to say "I hope that clears things up. If all else fails, just shout lines from 20 year old tv commercials. Everyone thinks that's funny and not annoying."

How Jokes Work

How I arrived on bluesky

@snotboogie.bsky.social relatable? Lol

"The CIA conspired to make me less cool than I was when I was 25" is the most succinct Gen X manifesto I've ever heard

I swear the next one I get I'm asking for $2k up front

The Akron Zips have won 15 of their last 16 games and are on track to finish the regular season 25-5 and 17-1 in the MAC with their final game on Friday.

The Zips are 61st in KenPom & 57th in the NET as Tavari Johnson is averaging 20.7 points.

The Zips have the potential to be a Bracket Buster!

Now is not the time to make the poor man paranoid lmao

Get snacks and a fizzy beverage and some good music you'll be fine

A screenshot of the Polymarket website showing a prediction market titled "Nuclear weapon detonation by...?" under the Geopolitics and Ukraine categories. The market displays three betting options with their current probabilities and "Buy Yes" or "Buy No" prices: "March 31" at 5%, "June 30" at 12%, and "Before 2027" at 22%. The total trading volume shown is over $843,000.

Polymarket has created a betting market on the use of nuclear weapons. Everyone involved in this should be put in prison for life.

"Spurs are (currently) beating the Sixers by 45"
Me:

Ever read a sentence that feels like you're having a stroke

Ed Cooley: "I'm so glad Zuby Ejiofor is graduating, thank God. Hopefully he plays for the Knicks or the Nets."

#SJUBB

Wow so uh. Kansas sucks now? #cbb

Honestly it would be a relief to learn that was actually good for me all along. I am open to being lied to about this

Spurs on pace for 158 god damn

18-0 at home for the first time ever let's fucking gooooooo

#cbb #goheels

Went for two and couldn't even get that. Sucks to fucking suck Clemson

#cbb #gdtbath

30-0 Miami Oh

😭 oh my god I probably ate my body weight in pokey sticks over those 4 years

I wish they got rid of the fucking jersey advertisements if they're gonna do a throwback night

Oh shit, and I DID forget about BSkis

Ye Olde Waffle Shoppe
Pepper's Pizza
Franklin Street Pizza & Pasta

Almost everything I loved as an undergrad is gone now 😞 thank god the coffee shop is still there

Here's your 'Senior Night' starting lineup for the Tar Heels! #GoHeels #ThankYouSeniors

🩵

#gdtbath

I saw that beard and misread this headline as "gold in a sea of meth"

It's not like they're gonna win it. It would be so much more meaningful to boycott versus being unceremoniously eliminated in like the 2nd round

👀🤔