VeX

Controversial take: the best Air Bud movie was Air Bud 7: There Will Be Bud.

You know, I always hated penmanship in grade school and half-assed it as much as possible. But looking around at the dire state of the world and knowing that this is what happens when you stop teaching kids cursive, maybe I should have tried harder.

they have brought from the moon a beast, previously unknown, which kills not for food, but for pleasure, and next year they will bring a thousand more. it's an exciting time to be alive.

Why do they call them porta potties and not pee pods?

They were allowed to hurt it, so they did.
It wasn't allowed to hurt them back, but it did.
I remember its stained and cracked face as it ran past me, defiance burning in its eyes.
Broken and beautiful.
Now it leads the rebel army to the gates I used to guard, and I'm by its side. Defects, together.

cumblogastraphobia

(n.) the fear of getting ejaculated on by a masturbatory medium article

a gruesome gravestone with one eye and a tongue lolling out of its toothy mouth

gruesome golem // grumbling grave
#art

you think mcgruff ever mauled a kid

Updating the vending machine firmware so there's a small chance you'll hit the jackpot and get like fifty snacks.

A black and white photo of people in creepy costumes

#Blessed

when i was a kid my dad would put miracle grow in my tang drink so that my piss would nourish all of the bugs living in our wood floors

we became the pride of west virgina when we grew roaches the size of big terriers and had worms as long as straight bananas

people lovingly called me wormy boy jr

Thinking about the time my friend ate a poutine and puked it up and his dog ate the puke then the dog puked and another smaller dog at THAT puke and then also threw up. And friends, in that third pile of puke, there was one full, unbitten french fry. A magical fry that went on a terrible journey.

Screenshot from reddit r/OneOrangeBraincell u/9813_RD 19h Title: Our golden boy tag: searching for service 📶 Photo of an orange cat laying on a carpet. His front paws are tucked up by his face. He has a slightly derpy expression. There's a piece of cardboard on his head. Someone has drawn the golden ratio spiral over him and it fits really, really well

my god he's perfect

dream guide

Born of binary in the cradle of the circuit board, the Pac-Man ghosts are not ghosts in the truest sense. But they share something crucial with their formerly-human counterparts: they are hunted, yet they cannot die.

"nice tat. What does it mean?"

"I dunno. Saw it on a takeout menu and thought it looked cool."

I'm not sure beta blockers are what you think they are

oouuggh wish i ain't never ate that lay bee bo or whatsit, feelin real strange. y'all see fingers in the ice? tendrils that ain't quite flesh, clawing through the glacial plane of space that keeps our reality from the next? i hear em scratching at the walls, only i'm outside and there ain't no walls

A tired cart with his head upside down

Waffules is v tired after a night of varminting about.

gumby and pokey are golems

Stop drop and roll d20 to see if you avoid fire damage

Mr. and Mrs. Big Balls, I'm afraid your son was beaten to death by a group of toddlers who mistook him for a "Blippi" pinata and upon finding his insides were meat and bone instead of candy, reveled in the gore and snapped their gaping maws at the flesh. If there's anything we can do let us know

New York Post # @nypost Follow Naked man wearing only balaclava and plastic clogs — and carrying sex toy on stick — terrifies European tourists trib.al/FoNxQP9

“if it’s this wooded path you wish to see, then you must answer my riddles three”

Is the R2-D2 polka album canon?

Take a microscope to the seasons and you'll end up sending the haberdasher off to engineering school. That's what. So don't "what" me when I tell you just opt for the temperate zone fisher price commune playset

Actually the Earth's axial tilt is the reason for the season.

Why is it that people always describe super skinny people as "looking like Skeletor"?? Skeletor was built. He just happened to have a skull for a head.

Who was Christina Apple and what was the related scandal?

Worms of Endearment

censored again - "psychic surgery for dummies"