Yes, yes your breasts are splendid but do you interpret Armageddon as a literal event or a symbolic progression of the world toward its inevitable end?
03.03.2026 13:01 — 👍 42 🔁 15 💬 3 📌 0Yes, yes your breasts are splendid but do you interpret Armageddon as a literal event or a symbolic progression of the world toward its inevitable end?
03.03.2026 13:01 — 👍 42 🔁 15 💬 3 📌 0no one blames it on the rain anymore; yet another causality of global warming
03.03.2026 07:16 — 👍 62 🔁 11 💬 5 📌 0*rage colors a picture of a rainbow and flowers then crumples it up and nicely hands it to you
03.03.2026 12:50 — 👍 35 🔁 12 💬 6 📌 0Acting mysterious when in reality I just lost my train of thought
03.03.2026 04:03 — 👍 101 🔁 30 💬 1 📌 0I know this isn't the time for jokes, but also it is precisely the time for jokes
03.03.2026 05:31 — 👍 89 🔁 26 💬 3 📌 0It’s 2026, why can’t they make an extra comfy men’s thong?
01.03.2026 05:25 — 👍 27 🔁 11 💬 4 📌 1
smiling at the past
because it wasn’t all that bad
Being indecisive makes me mysterious.
02.03.2026 19:22 — 👍 60 🔁 38 💬 1 📌 0I'm the left over sacrifice after a blood moon, sup
07.09.2025 12:00 — 👍 28 🔁 14 💬 0 📌 0turning the shower on real hot and spinning myself around like a rotisserie chicken
03.03.2026 02:08 — 👍 74 🔁 17 💬 0 📌 1
“Verify you’re a human.”
Is that something to really want to fucking aspire to?
I'm gas station taquito levels of sad
02.03.2026 20:59 — 👍 77 🔁 21 💬 7 📌 0biblically accurate corn dogs
03.03.2026 01:22 — 👍 118 🔁 39 💬 9 📌 3I live somewhere between playing my cards right & not playing with a full deck.
02.03.2026 13:02 — 👍 133 🔁 64 💬 4 📌 0I’m starting my daylight saving time rage a week early so I’m properly prepared.
03.03.2026 00:55 — 👍 122 🔁 31 💬 6 📌 0a good thing is when someone posts a picture of a cat, and then people reply with "great cat, here also is a picture of my cat." unsolicited cat pics aplenty. this could be the world we build
03.03.2026 01:40 — 👍 1789 🔁 299 💬 176 📌 29Playing heads or tails with the carcass of a beetle in the waiting room
03.03.2026 01:27 — 👍 19 🔁 11 💬 1 📌 0oh, I'm full, thank you, I've had enough horrors
01.03.2026 02:33 — 👍 49 🔁 22 💬 0 📌 0surely pizza can and will fix it
02.03.2026 23:19 — 👍 14 🔁 6 💬 0 📌 1Keep talking, asshole, ive already messaged the etsy witches
01.03.2026 15:37 — 👍 276 🔁 67 💬 3 📌 0
interviewer: any weaknesses?
me: my knees
I don't like who I become when I'm awake.
02.03.2026 04:13 — 👍 29 🔁 9 💬 0 📌 0Don't ban smartphones for kids. Ban Monopoly.
01.03.2026 17:02 — 👍 65 🔁 19 💬 2 📌 0
[at a spider wedding]
congratulations to the newlywebs
A fisherman who gets abducted by aliens is really just getting a taste of his own medicine.
28.02.2026 20:27 — 👍 84 🔁 30 💬 6 📌 1You can only clutch your pearls so many times before the whole string snaps.
02.03.2026 05:36 — 👍 72 🔁 30 💬 2 📌 1Little Debbie has seen me at my highest and my absolute rock bottom
02.03.2026 00:55 — 👍 80 🔁 20 💬 4 📌 0To the people who have their shit together: the fuck?
02.03.2026 11:57 — 👍 177 🔁 49 💬 11 📌 0
A frazzled raccoon holding a coffee and a sword
Entering the chat like
01.03.2026 20:49 — 👍 101 🔁 23 💬 3 📌 3Camels think they’re hot shit, I got fatty lumps too playboi nobody cares
02.03.2026 00:45 — 👍 121 🔁 40 💬 4 📌 0