Juiceticles

Just got home from a road trip with a good friend who did not say "cow" when there was a cow and I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that he has no soul

i offer compliments as a standard service you don’t have to pay extra for those, sugarballs

I'm recruiting people for a pyramid scheme involving ketchup packets

Does anybody know if we have anything good happening ever again?

who called them men’s compression tights and not manlyhose

my dad doesn’t appreciate me calling his massage chair The Meat Tenderizer

I tell people I’m agoraphobic, so they don’t invite me places

First date idea: Let's not and say we did.

I admire anyone who's going through a lot but refuses to post inspiration on the Internet.

there’s not enough ‘ope’ in this casserole

my problems with folding clothes are in creasing

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here, wishing the very best for you

How much of this sleepytime tea does it take for like a 2-4 day coma

sorry i ruined your web with my face mr spider

Look I'm not a life coach, but never trust a guy that doesn't like his balls touched

2025 is a terrible year not to be in a coma.

horses wear sunglasses at the Cool Ranch

jazzercising my demons

Just out here chasing dopamine like it owes me rent

you’re in love, awww that’s cute…i’m insane

why isn’t someone dropping off cake every Caturday to every household
like what are we paying taxes for

mowing over some mint for a menthol lawn experience

don't go viral, go fungal

If you’ve seen one bear attack you’ve seen a maul.

Sure boobs are great but when a woman is speaking please have some respect and look her directly in the vagina

I'm not internationally known, but I'm known to rock the sad trombone.

skeet is just an abbreviation of ‘get this stupid fucken thought out of my head’

😁

Here at bluesky we're not posting into the void we're posting *alongside* the void

I get so irritated when I can't find the gif I want to use.