@juiceticles.bsky.social
Carpenter by day, shadow puppet prodigy by night bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaabbu3r6cxpi
Crypto is just Kohl’s cash for cis white boys
13.12.2025 00:49 — 👍 116 🔁 47 💬 3 📌 2Wearing grey sweatpants because I'm packin' (a sub sandwich in those deep pockets)
12.12.2025 19:06 — 👍 71 🔁 21 💬 9 📌 1I ignored you
Please respond
a single-celled sheep is called an ameo-baaahhh
12.12.2025 20:44 — 👍 48 🔁 18 💬 2 📌 1Before I met my wife she was a sex addict, but over the years I've cured her.
12.12.2025 18:34 — 👍 11 🔁 5 💬 0 📌 0
a big semi with "SLUTS" painted colorfully on the side
get in, no time to explain
12.12.2025 21:56 — 👍 686 🔁 175 💬 20 📌 14🎶 Chestnuts roasting on an open fire 🎶
But it's me washing my undercarriage with bordering on scalding water in the shower
Room for one more shitty decision before the end of the year for the plot
12.12.2025 21:38 — 👍 78 🔁 26 💬 5 📌 0Hopelessly devoted to you(r butthole).
12.12.2025 16:57 — 👍 29 🔁 11 💬 0 📌 0Hang on.... Gotta go check my 1 notif
12.12.2025 17:18 — 👍 76 🔁 40 💬 6 📌 0Therapist: express how you feel.
Me: *opens a Nature Valley granola bar on desk*
a 7 layer dip only every layer is pills
12.12.2025 23:12 — 👍 95 🔁 37 💬 2 📌 1When I’m 50, I’m going to be the biggest whore. (>2 months to go.)
11.12.2025 23:03 — 👍 64 🔁 9 💬 12 📌 2big expense decision: do i buy a new dryer that works or the LEGO Millenium Falcon
12.12.2025 16:50 — 👍 228 🔁 49 💬 39 📌 1I need a round of applause for making a phone call I’d been putting off for months.
11.12.2025 18:21 — 👍 64 🔁 13 💬 9 📌 0searching pornhub for "laying in bed on our phones all morning until one of us caves and makes coffee"
11.12.2025 00:46 — 👍 195 🔁 39 💬 2 📌 2People get weird when you pull a bunch of baby teeth out of your pocket
12.12.2025 21:17 — 👍 129 🔁 31 💬 13 📌 1We all have that one miserable friend and I’m it.
10.12.2025 16:44 — 👍 78 🔁 26 💬 1 📌 1I feel like no one gets their jollies anymore and that's just sad this time of year.
12.12.2025 21:19 — 👍 67 🔁 38 💬 2 📌 0You're not you when you're hungry, your honor
12.12.2025 22:09 — 👍 20 🔁 11 💬 0 📌 0iso a stylist who can do creative color on my bush
12.12.2025 21:36 — 👍 25 🔁 11 💬 0 📌 0I'll give you my crocs when you pry them from my cold, dead feet
12.12.2025 21:57 — 👍 15 🔁 6 💬 2 📌 0*projectile vomits your name in the snow
12.12.2025 20:06 — 👍 18 🔁 11 💬 0 📌 0Sorry for being so weird that one many times
12.12.2025 20:23 — 👍 10 🔁 4 💬 0 📌 0😆
12.12.2025 20:24 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0you don't have to be nostalgic for shit that sucked just because shit sucks more now
12.12.2025 19:39 — 👍 52 🔁 9 💬 1 📌 0Our defeat took its toll. The very air was melancholic. That’s when I withdrew a flageolet from my vest pocket and began playing All Star by the band Smash Mouth
12.12.2025 17:15 — 👍 79 🔁 35 💬 6 📌 0i amount of butter i purchased at costco appeared to unnerve and frighten the other shoppers
12.12.2025 17:34 — 👍 203 🔁 36 💬 11 📌 0support local businesses by getting that tattoo you've been wanting
12.12.2025 13:37 — 👍 28 🔁 12 💬 4 📌 1Me: I haven’t been feeling like myself lately.
Therapist: that’s great!
