Kim Kardashev #BringBackŁink

if you’ve seen whatever they call that sneak kitchen inspection show with gordon ramsey you know a restaurant with a popular frozen dish might have violations going on back there in the dark and mask it with sugar. their vendor might have something going on because margins are tight

in theory by 20C logic this is all a good reason to buy ice cream from a restaurant thst serves it all day bc they’re subject to freezer inspection and are probably rotating dairy. in practice as a former corporate dairy dessert seller i’m gonna say it might clear the pre 1950s cart level but idk

also if tiny insects were getting in the lack of freezing might mean they have some life processes going on in there which for insects on the surface of fresh food probably means expelling the bad fluids

people knew and discussed that ice cream had made people sick, and that it was correlated with large crowds and large personal consumption (in the 2020s we can also say air was blowing dirt and germs in, people were spitting microbes at each other while eating it in groups, etc)

and you ate a small amount before it started to react chemically and biologically to things like air, temperature etc. eating a big amount could be feasible as a sometime hobby for a dude with an iron gut, but IMHO IANAD people like that paid for it later according to modern bio I think?

Back then eating the cart slop was fun if someone hired it for a party and you got there early, or you knew the guy and he gave you fresh (safety was the unspoken subtext of 20C ‘friendly neighborhood candy/ice cream man’ trope imho) or you were at a popular event and ice cream showed up

So even the small amount of ice cream most of us can afford to put in a freezer can make us sick if it’s allowed to melt and refrozen. Heartbreaking to throw away a treat and find more money but that’s why people go to the ice cream/water ice shop now and get just one modern serving sometimes

The only thing the ice cream cart had going for it was it wasn’t cold enough to preserve all the germs like modern freezers do. The common belief that people just “don’t like” melted and refrozen confections because it “isn’t the same” is only true to the extent we’re ignorant of intro microbiology

A lot of people got sick just from eating the day’s equivalent of a recommended serving, which on top of the mold-bacteria sludge cream of it all, was inherently designed to make cash for a guy who will then leave (and phones don’t exist btw). Not based on modern dietary science in the first place

This was a genuine concern before refrigeration. Ice cream came from an icebox on wheels that wasn’t properly cooled to begin with, and vendors were growing biz on the cheap by mixing old and new. Even proper freezing doesn’t kill anything smaller than an animal, so this was dairy germ town

That’s my activation code. I cantona the guy in the face and instantly puncture the bottle with a hidden implant, shotgunning until I am ready to burn whatever the opposite of a data center is (for the world’s sake do NOT tell me)

"We just saved 20% on our power bill by burning down the local data center." Overlaid on a detail from a David Burroughs Mattingly painting showing two humanoid figures in green garb with glowing eyes and mouths under a pink sky, a meteor soaring down.

bugged-ubuntu on tumblr shares an error message screenshot: "Android System • TQ3A.230901.001 Analog audio accessory detected The attached device is not compatible with this phone. Tap to learn more." "Silly phone, you're not detecting an analog audio accessory, you're detecting soup, from the bowl of soup I dropped you in."

I didn’t know the new things they’d invent would be enshittified

according to the new computer, a “psychosis” is now when you believe a counterfactual that sucks unbelievable ass for society

Where is it going down there? the parking lot. A car park is a fantastic name for any paradise that’s been heretofore paved over, and I didn’t see that addressed. So I am calling President Buden

tumblr user feeshies: Funny growing up in the late 2000s and seeing constant "don't text and drive" warnings, PSAs telling us to put our phones down behind the wheel, wait until you're home to send that text, a phone-distracted driver is a deadly driver etc etc Only for modern car manufacturers to be like "we made the car a phone :) now you have to text and drive to change the radio station :)"

mathew @mathew@universeodon.com The orphan-crushing machine is just a tool. You can also use it to mulch puppies and purée kittens. Why are you angry? You can use it for harmless tasks like making mashed potatoes. You eat mashed potatoes don't you? Yes, admittedly it leaks machine oil into the potatoes, but they're working on that. It leaks so much less oil than it did when you tried it three months ago. In a year from now it's going to be a Michelin-starred chef. Well, that’s typical, gatekeeping by telling people they should have to learn to cook. You don’t think people who can’t cook deserve good food? So what if the machine is powered by slave labor? That's innovation. You're just scared you're going to be one of them. Besides, it's inevitable. Nobody is going to crush orphans by hand any more. You're going to get left behind. Oh, well there you go with your ridiculous purity culture again.

krickbrendan: "Remembering an open mic in Pennsyltucky in 2011 when we had "offensive joke night." Everyone else said slurs, but I went up and talked about how "l don't support the troops. I do support the war though, because war is the number 1 killer of troops" and had to be escorted out of the building for my safety"

Lynnesbian :bune_ylw: @lynnesbian@fedi.lynnesbian.space You're doubting my humanity, but you're missing some key points. Here are some of the things I've seen: Attack ships firing off the shoulder of Orion. These aren't just battleships — they're spacecraft designed for warfare. C-beams glittering in the dark. Their location? Near the Tannhäuser Gate. Things you wouldn't believe. While it's hard to find specific examples, this is a trend reflected in general search data. The bottom line: All those moments will be lost — like tears in rain.

power464646: "Capitalism is ruining art!" "Consumerism is ruining art!" "AI is ruining art!" theyre all just industry posers in it for the money. you need to take it upon yourself to ruin art more disastrously than any of them could ever dream.

reaghan (@reaghhan) on twitter: doctor: congrats on the baby! What are you going to name him Newt Gingrich's mom: newt gingrich

Jon Cappetta (@joncappetta) on twitter: "just found out my neighbors gorgeous and well trained dog is actually a retired K9 - so he's not coming to say hello every time he sees me and sits down in front of me - he's signaling that i smell like weed."

doodlemancy @doodlemancy on cohost (rip): "the script at this point is just company: we're going to do something really extremely bad for our customers and possibly even people who aren't our customers. we think this is good an enormous, furious internet mob: we hate this company: we'd like to clarify our intentions. just to be clear: we're doing the same thing but we'd like you to hate it a little less now"

iwilleatyourenglish on tumblr: "my partner and i have become fixated on this stupid comment left by a conspiracy theorist on instagram and we can't stop saying it and i just know i'm gonna slip up and say it to a normal person" iwilleatyourenglish: [screenshot: newworldawaken: "People who use microwaves trust the government"]

Whenever I meet a lumberjack: "I know what it is you saw" — Galadriel (Cate Blanchett)

c-53: I'm obsessed with my 19 year old coworker. I was telling him about how my crashout divorced dad got a sugar mommy by going to random churches and having screaming sobbing breakdowns in the pews until a random rich christian widow was like 61 can fix him'. And he went Gyo thats tech. The meta is changing.'

Sorry - Per Shamwow Guy, he is suing the "GOP Texas" rather than Texas GOP.

Tweet from Vince Shalomi: Suing the GOP Texas for deleting my nickname "Shamwow" in the Primaries so they help the incumbent John Carter so the voters don't recognize me. Rigged election by these rhinos.

The Shamwow Guy, Vince Shlomi, says he is suing the Texas GOP for “rigging” his Texas House race by not including the word “Shamwow” on ballots

That the leader of the Conservative party uttered these words on the important commonalities between Canada and the UK: "and most important of all, folklore, including the possibly fictional legend of Robin Hood" is absolutely mind-boggling.