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At one point in my life, my brain absolutely shat the bed because I kept confusing "pareve" food with "gluten free" and it was while I was living with a nonbinary terf with coeliacs.

RFK Jr looks like a camel cigarette got a wish from a fairy and asked to become a real boy

I wish tiktok had a commenters fund comparable to the creators fund, because my comment do numbers that my videos dont

It honestly infuriating that 90s parents were right about Marilyn Manson being evil, but for all the wrong reasons. They thought he was Satanic and a sexual deviant who had a rib removed to suck his own dick. Turns out he's (allegedly) a domestically abusive rapist. Right answer, wrong math.

I was thinking something like that, maybe some microphone flow spinning if it's corded!

"Come Sail Away" by Styx is one of my favourite Kareoke songs, however i haven't yet figured out a good shtick of the solid one minute long synth break in the middle.

two women are standing next to each other with their mouths open and one of them is wearing an orange coat . ALT: two women are standing next to each other with their mouths open and one of them is wearing an orange coat .

TFW you have a 45 item Instacart order and see your shopper isnt a man

My GP: Ok so for your sciatica, we're finally do more muscle relaxers -

Me: yay!

My GP: -...and Gapapentin

Me: Like my cat!

My GP: 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

I know it's besides the point, but I feel like Ingrassia thinks there are only 7 circles of hell when there are 9. Unless he's being incredibly ironic (7th circle is circle of violence & MLK was famously non violent)

I can't focus on anything past RFK picking his gross ear on TV. How does a Kennedy have such poor media awarenes?

Fellow #bidet users - as a bidet user, do you ever feel slightly superior to other folks? I do. *My* bootyhole is clean.

Sumerians Look On In Confusion As God Creates World

Sumerians Look On In Confusion As God Creates World https://theonion.com/sumerians-look-on-in-confusion-as-god-creates-world-1819571221/

I desperately need readers to understand the difference between a hero and a protagonist

Everyone who thinks the texts between Tyler and his roommate are faked bc they sound weird has never met a Mormon.

My partner had no idea what a discord kitten was, which is the greenest of flags

www.google.com/amp/s/www.cb...

Really!

Shakiras purse was recently stolen by a feral hog lol

The first person to try and use 9/11 as an excuse to have not done something is David B, a kid I went to school with who tried to beg for extra time on our senior poli-sci summer project, which was due 9/12. He obviously failed both the project and the excuse, but an attempt was made. #neverforget

There is no more anxious feeling one can experience than watching a delivery app get closer and closer desperately waiting for laxatives to arrive

TFW you leave a heartfelt & emotional comment about something on reddit, but forgetting to switch accounts so the heartfelt comment is attached to your naughty reddit account 😳 #reddit

I think the fact that I discovered Max Canon's "Red Meat" comic when I was 15 after they started being posted online explains a lot about my sense of humor now.

You *could* be platforming and interviewing the many, MANY survivors who havs been speaking up. But I guess an AI won't have any pesky emotions or demands to regulate guns so that makes your "job" easier...

It's extremely weird to see a distant relative (my grandfathers 3rd cousin) pop up in the latest episode of Some More News

💯💯💯

Many ancient homes all over the world had no private kitchens/food prep spaces, period! Especially if you were poor!

This is why the discovery of a largely-intact "fast food" shopfront in Pompeii was such a huge deal, a few years ago. These places rarely survive the passage of time.

Computer, make a note: make an OnlyFans, but blur out and further pay wall feet pics

So little crime in america is done by immigrants that i cant even find a guestimate percentage. But i can find stats showing that 75-85% of crime is done by men. Maybe we should be deporting men.

Superman is an excellent movie about the importance of investigative journalism and freedom of the press.

Listening to someone read a sex scene from a Bond novel and I need to know if Flemming had any children because it sounds like this man has never had sex before.

YouTube video by ReelBigFishVIDEOS Reel Big Fish - “Brown Eyed Girl” Live in Anaheim (Pro Filmed)

Idk why buy i feel like #Superman is absolutely a ska guy. You cant tell me he's not bopping around to Reel Big Fish.

youtu.be/hI3phMUjPjk?...

In these days of people making using chatgpt to "make" things, I find even more enjoyment in the photoshop request facebook groups I follow. The best imo is "This cat is P H O T O S H O P P E D" where folks make requests for shops, or post their cat in silly poses as inspo. This is my panda!