Amy Malkoff

You need a kitty/fish strainer

Whoa

I heard that too but still using teabags (mostly, though I have strainers too)

Sunset, 10/6/25

You mean plastics have a future in us 😬

Unbelievable!

Remembering when I once did a career quiz and the results said, no joke, that I'd be best suited to be...a tobacco farmer

Cute!

As cups of tea go, you're mine

It's my real name. Threads just disabled my account for being "fake"

I was just at a store looking at greeting cards and every card with a cat on it had a "cats are punitive aholes" type of lazy joke. We've really leaned into that garbage, haven't we? [these two beg to differ, and so do I]

I would have hoped that in the (many) years since I was that age/s, kids would be more accepting of curly/textured hair, but based on your kids' homecoming pics, long, straight hair and conformity still rule the day. 😥

orange kitten in a play mobile yellow bus

my uber is here

Mini Movie Review 🎞️: If two hours of actor-y kids screeching, super loud fire fx, and treacly cliché characters sound compelling, The Lost Bus is the movie for you!

Better yet, I know the Muddy Mudskipper theme song

I have a letter he sent to me!

Psst, your diabetes jokes are never funny

I'm trying everything

a cat with a red heart that says no ALT: a cat with a red heart that says no

Threads: Oops, we deleted your account because our faulty technology decided it was fake even though it's not.
Me: Can an actual person look at it and fix it, then?
Threads:

Trying, in the name of Max!

YouTube video by Tim Minchin White Wine In The Sun by Tim Minchin

Too early to start the season?

I've got some gold in the current ones but would like to keep them in for a while...

"How do you know there's no god? Have you talked to him?" (someone said to me today)

To me, this sounds exactly like, "How do you know there's no tooth fairy? Have you talked to her?"

Hey tooth fairy, drop me off a bag with $100k or so, won't ya?

A podcast where I talk to other podcasters about their podcasts

The dog in the fire meme wherein I'm the dog, engulfed in flames, and everyone else is safely standing outside telling me I'm fine, don't expect more.

Yikes

Sure, the floor is lava now, but soon it will cool into a nice porous lava rock.

I’m playing the long game here.

Coveting that pillow (or whatever it is)

"Oh it's FUNNY, we're just having fun!"... is now how our government justifies its racism and bad actions now? Cool cool.

Drag name: Blanche Devereaux Beach (this will only be funny to people who live in/around Marblehead and are Golden Girls fans, but to those few, it'll be hilarious... Probably. Maybe.)