Verily, things have gone awry, my dudes

Got tons to bitch about so instead Id just like to remind folks that weathers changing, so its a good time to update your GTFO bag

*brings updated terms and conditions to a knife fight*

Good morning my lovelies 🌞

i fear i don’t have the knees to migrate to a new app

Dippin’ Kings Hawaiian bread in ramen broth like the absolute thug that I am

Damn typos ruining my otherwise top notch posts

Right now somebody’s therapist is hearing about YOU

Is it safe to drink spring water in autumn or should I pour it out?

‪
Describe your Bluesky account in a single image

boobies and BUTTS

For those of you who don't regularly test your smoke alarms by cooking, now might be a good time to change batteries

when you go to a mutuals page to catch up on their new posts but get distracted by the reposts on their page and jump to another mutuals page via the first mutual then another and another then you realise you forgot to check the first mutuals new posts so you go back and the cycle starts again

I just realized I’m clenching my jaw again. I would love to know what it’s like to not be continually stressed out by people, places and things.

No one:

My kid’s tiny friend: LEAVE ME ALONE, I NEED TO FART!

Starting a new subscription business on Bluesky. For $5/month I’ll reply “touch grass” under any post that annoys you.

Let’s meet at the sand-pit. We’ll listen to REO Speedwagon unironically and drink Boone’s Farm until we see balloons

A haunted house but it’s just someone saying “Let’s go around the room and share one fun fact about ourselves.”

Bluesky is basically a public record of your mental breakdown

You should be legally obliged to have the same avi and/or handle across all social media apps.

so uh some people take his website very seriously huh. lol. lmao even

Psychoanalysing your dreams by looking up the recurring motifs on TV Tropes.

I don't know what to do with happiness. That's probably why it never happens to me.

Can't be saying "avoid like the plague" anymore. We're all multiple infections in and actually losing our marbles

Just running around mitigating shit

I’m not antisocial, I’m selectively social and the selection process is now closed.

There are two types of people: coffee talk vs coffee quiet.

“Do you want me to be honest?” isn’t a question. It’s a warning.

Might just start replying to my own posts you're lame.