Captain Inertia

Zohran flip your hair again we need healthcare get him to give us healthcare.

Breaking: Administration officials working overtime to find turkeys with sexual assault and crypto scam convictions so the President can pardon them

I spent lots of time chatting with the Nazi bot on Nazi dot com and giving ad revenue to the world’s richest Nazi in order to create these screenshots that you’ll hate. Enjoy

That’s significant improvement!!

Which of the tech barons will be “Odoacer, but with LLM-Powered Kill Drones”

I was gonna say

O, beware, my lord, of jelly glee! It is the blue-eyed monster which doth mock The meat it feeds on.

@splitzoneduo.com I think you’ve been given a great idea to discuss with one of your sponsors

This joke probes deep

I mean, would YOU want to be the one to try to unconvince him

Squirrely Dan from "Letterkenny" over the words "a picture of my buttsholes eliciting a merely "niiiice," which is a quote from Olivia Nuzzi's book

A car that runs on gar?

holy shit, the maginot line can talk

that is 100% just the name and mustache he uses to check into hotels

Herbstreit

The Rockies really mess with us, you start heading East on 70 from Denver which gets like 80% of possible sunshine, through KC at 65, St Louis at 55, Indy at 50, Columbus at 45, and then North of Pittsburgh, which gets 42%, less possible sunshine than Nome Alaska

The multi-level indoor lumberyard has killed many

Really nice job capturing both the All World skyline as well as the Winter Misery Dome sky

We shipping throuples up ins?

The AL Central isn’t real

this is the streaming vs cable bundles cycle

Swamp
Top
Ussy

What’s up Trevor

Keep dreaming buddy

Very specific as in NYPD, the NY Media, and NY State apparatuses will all immediately begin fighting to ruin his mayorality?

This is an even better deal than the pile of Allen Edmonds Dr Phil used to wear

Put the Broncomind down

Browns

Marion Motley

Jim Brown

Leroy Kelly

Prime Nick Chubb

(Kevin Mack who was in my dad’s bowling league)

Not only is @mattbrown.bsky.social the finest journalist covering alcohol sales at college football stadiums in all of America, he also makes a damn fine cutting board and will just send one to you if you ask nicely and seem like you might like chopping stuff. A+ human being.