Brett Karlan

The new Pokémon Pokopia game is the best game ever made about Anaximander's theory of spontaneous generation of animals from non-living matter

Somehow successfully captured and released a bird that flew through our garage and right into our house. Surprising only because these situations usually end up with me, the bird, and at least two bystanders dead

Ravioli

Literally every time Some Dude posts "AI skeptics need to see THIS," it's never a link to a cool use case or some actual evidence of usefulness, but always a screenshot of Another Guy posting their breathless hype (usually on X, the everything-including-pedophilia app)

You KNOW it

A pharmacist and an aerospace engineer whoops

Get in here, we're vagueposting like a sad teenager on MySpace

I know intellectually that work won't love you back, but fuck man, work really won't love you back

Really mad to report that, in order for your brain and body to feel good, you do have to Do Things (exercise, self-care). This is the worst fact and I hate it

"People want to hear a badly performed, wildly ignorant improvised podcast while they watch sports" - the rantings of the deranged

We should ban sports broadcasts from interviewing athletes after and (especially!!!) during games. These people have no clue what they're doing, no clue what they just did. I don't want to hear from them. Honestly ban all commentary. Just the ambient noise of the stadium. No talking only vibes

One fun thing about being married to someone with ADHD is often not knowing whether they are dead or just have forgotten about the existence of their phone for the last 6 hours

"AI tutors can cut down on teaching prep!" OK I actually like my job though

"With an LLM I can write a paper in two hours!" Why would you want to though

I mean, I shouldn't be surprised by this, but it's wild how many academics apparently don't want to do the main things (write papers, teach students) they are paid to do

A buddy of mine once asked if he should start a substack, thought for a minute, then just decided to message me when someone online annoyed him. True Virtue

Sorry, Bluesky, but I have to say it: my posts are good

Might not seem like much, but for a white guy, this is essentially a superpower

Hell yeah I'm a high decoupler

I'm able to say, "Hmm, seems like this person sucks" and not turn it into a generalization about all members of the groups that person belongs to/a set of sustaining grievances that shape my whole personality/a political orientation

I knew y'all were good at responding to incentives, but I didn't realize it's just incentives all the way down man

Joking aside, I feel like I'm losing my mind w/r/t LLM in academia discourse. I've always assumed I'm surrounded by people who care about the process (of learning, of research) as much as the product. "I had AI write/post about how it is a game changer" is the antithesis of everything I care about

*posting really bad posts and not receiving likes* Bluesky seems to have lost the juice

That's why they call you Kevin "Consistent AF" Zollman after all

"AI is revolutionizing my workflow" we get it you have no respect for your own agency

If you spell it "premiss" instead of "premise," just know I am vomiting all over your paper as I read

Have decided what my final vaguepost will be on the day I leave Bluesky for good:

All video games are tennis (see: Pong, etc.)

Like a month ago everyone was talking about the AI bubble, and then we got a bunch of posts about how the new Claude Code or whatever was Finally Gonna Change Everything. Can infinite hype alone sustain the current way of doing things? We'll soon find out!

As much as I want to believe you are real and want to help me publish a book, person in my email who gave your name as "Cindy Commissioning Editor," I remain slightly skeptical

one thing i didn't anticipate when i got into the empirically informed philosophy of mind game was how often i would say 'you might get bonked on the head'