Ben Heller

The Hoffman to Dominguez pipeline is not ideal

The Blue Jays somehow don’t know that the most terrifying phrase in baseball is “ex-Phillies reliever.”

I think you’re giving him too much credit. He’s basically Mike Johnson in the body of Mike Timlin.

At least the Mariners would be leaving people on base in these innings.

Giants!

So The Running Man holds up

MLB closers are the only people asked to do their job in a completely different manner when it matters most.

I worked on the MLB account at an ad agency and I guarantee these said “Built for October” until one person realized game 7 of the World Series was on November 1st, and flipped out, imagined a negative headline about baseball players wearing October shirts in November, and decided “fall” was safer.

Not a theater guy, but I’d see this.

Delete your Twitter account.

“Jeff Epstein? The Pianist?”

If you zoom in close enough to the makeup on Trump’s hand, you can make out the “Ah, well nevertheless” tweet.

“Netflix fans”

Alex Bregman’s dad is running for New Mexico Governor as a Democrat, and he’s lightly criticized Trump, though not publicly for some time.

Therados was right there

I see those and raise you the part in “White, Discussion” where he rhymes “politically correct” with “leaves me quite erect” and then the bass player performs a brief “bass boner” fill.

If you have far left views, Republicans will hide you in a detention center. If you have far right views, Gavin Newsom will ask you to hold that thought while he tells you how to get 25% off your first order of MeUndies.

Gotta be this FBI

For those of us who found “former athletes saying random things” to be the best part of Twitter, Bluesky will just never compare.

Has Bluesky already made the “This Matt Gaetz news has really struck a chord, and it’s a minor” joke, or are not enough people here yet?

Imagine being such an insufferable piece of shit that you’ve been wearing a cowboy hat backwards for 10 years and nobody’s bothered to tell you.