The D.C. Universe

Definitely not: Idle, Palin

Definitely not, but for…other reasons: Franco, C.K.

Already in, though he shouldn’t be: Simon

Probably won’t ever host again: Kutcher, Lohan, Diaz, Barkley

Probably will host again, but who knows when: Carvey, Keaton, Driver, Gosling

Four left. The answer is…Hamm.

Way to represent, Bryce.

Unapologetically rooting for Great Britain.

This is not a political statement. I just think it would be funny.

Exclusive | Epstein prison guard googled him minutes before his body was found — and made mysterious deposit days before his suicide: DOJ Tova Noel was one of the two Metropolitan Correctional Center workers accused of falsifying records to say they checked on Epstein throughout the night before his suicide.

My main takeaway from this story is that if you’re a prison guard making…I dunno? $60K a year? And someone representing a cabal of the wealthiest, most powerful people in the world reach out to you to kill a prisoner who can bring them all down…ASK FOR MORE THAN $11,880!!! nypost.com/2026/03/07/u...

I realize it’s just spring training. But James Wood and Dylan Crews hitting .154 seems bad.

I mean, if they were *each* hitting .154, that would be plenty bad. But no, they’re hitting a *combined* .154. Which seems…more bad.

I’m not saying it would be a good idea. But if Toboni is playing the long game and is determined, as someone said, to have the #1 farm system in MLB…well, trading Abrams and Young certainly isn’t making that happen.

But a potential ace with 3 1/2 years left? That trade alone could get them there.

Cavalli trade watch begins…

Q: War, huh, yeah. What is it good for?

A: Potentially bringing area rents and home prices down as terrified residents flee to where they won’t be caught in a hypothetical retaliatory attack.

Did not disappoint.

“There’s no such thing as a bad mustache.” - Miles Mikolas

After the game, look two lockers over, Miles.

Rangers To Sign Andrew McCutchen The Rangers are signing former NL MVP Andrew McCutchen to a minor league contract. You can head to MLB Trade Rumors for all the details.

If I were the Pirates, I would have brought McCutchen back for a farewell season.

If I were McCutchen, I would have read the writing on the wall and retired last year.

If I were the Nats, I would have signed McCutchen, because why not?

Mistakes all around. www.mlbtraderumors.com/2026/03/rang...

In 2026, it’s the heathens who lecture evangelicals about faith.

To be fair, if I’d been somewhat inexplicably traded from the 2025 Nationals to the 2025 Dodgers, I also wouldn’t shut up about how awesome God is.

Remember “Erica Marsh”? The fake account that would tweet stuff like “RT if you think billionaires should pay their taxes!” and had thousands of horny progressive followers, based entirely on a stolen profile pic?

Anyway, I’m relieved MAGA dudes are just as gullible and stupid. Maybe even moreso.

Very cool!

Although, would Sisko be a Giants fan? I get the SF connection, but I’d think he’d be a London Kings fan given that his favorite player was on the team.

You know what we didn’t appreciate enough as kids? Proof of purchase giveaways. Bribes, basically, to get us to bug our parents to buy us more toys.

I’m not sure what an adult version of this in 2026 might look like. But some innovative company should explore it.

I was at that game. It was an incredible video.

I take that back. One MLB team had the vision—indeed, the courage—to have Star Trek Night.

Unfortunately, it was the…(gag)…

a man in a niners baseball uniform is standing on a field ALT: a man in a niners baseball uniform is standing on a field

Meanwhile, we’re still waiting for the first great Trekkie baseball player.

Which is tragic, because only one of these franchises has actually featured baseball. And yet, there is no Star Trek Day in MLB…

I mean…what the actual fuck.

Sorry, Cody. Maybe if they’d limited it to active players.

Someone in this administration instigating nuclear war so they can make $50,000 or whatever on Polymarket, only to realize too late that money will be worthless once civilization has been destroyed, is the hack Twilight Zone-esque ending humanity deserves.

Once again, the Brits have conquered Milwaukee.

If NL East players keep testing positive for PEDs, the Nationals might win the division by default!

I hope this extends to AI-made films as well.

It’ll be awesome if all the talentless slop merchants who are entering a few prompts into Seebyte and calling themselves “filmmakers” have to watch unscrupulous Instagram accounts stealing their content and be legally powerless to do anything about it.

‘Industry’ Bosses on That Shocking Finale and Whether [SPOILER] Was Inspired by Ghislaine Maxwell: ‘All of This Was in Her From the Very First Moment’ 'Industry' creators Mickey Down and Konrad Kay break down the Season 4 finale and whether Yasmin is inspired by Ghislaine Maxwell

“Yasmin, too, has assumed responsibility for some direct reports”

This season ended up in a very strange place. Also, Kit Harrington has now starred in two HBO series in which his love interest becomes a monster. Hopefully, he isn’t taking it personally. variety.com/2026/tv/news...

Scream 7: stumbles in the third act, but much better than 6. This would be the perfect place for them to stop. But they won’t.

It’s been 17 years since the last Friday the 13th movie. There may never be another Elm Street film. So yeah, I think we can give the Scream franchise a decade or so off.

Is Kalshi just for insiders to profit off of war or can I bet on this to fail? Because historically, MLB’s outreach to young people has not gone well.

This hurts more than seeing Juan Soto join the Mets.

Okay, not really. But it still sucks.

Good for the New York Post for properly crediting Arlington, though. It sometimes feels like people have subconsciously retconned NYC into being the birthplace of Five Guys.