greg, "The Big Biscuit"

I love muting whichever of your annoying idiot friends keep showing up on my pristine timeline due to 'algorithms'

smh

oh lord there's ladies getting naked in this movie

Gonna rule when I need to pick up laundry detergent and have to talk to an AI version of Kevin Hart for 39 minutes instead of just going to the shelf

You have a beautymind, sugar. Sweet and scrumptious.

alright I'm finally home.

I'm sitting on the floor watching tv and eating Taco Bell, what are y'all up to?

that’s not fair

oh yeah I’m gonna fly for 5 hours and gain 3 hours and I’m sure all the timing will work out great and I’ll hop on my second plane at exactly 9:45pm and land at my final destination before midnight like I planned

sorry but if you’re scheduling a connecting flight after a cross country flight that is scheduled to land after 9pm during hurricane season and a govt shutdown and expect to make that connection you are a GRADE A MORON

for the purposes of the above post “ever” refers to anything since 2014 when I broke up with my longtime gf who I know rightly complained about me to her mom and friends on a regular basis

I don’t think any woman has ever talked about me with another woman

a picture through my binoculars of the sunset reflecting pinks and oranges against the clouds with the surrounding greenery in frame

different shot, sam style, less greenery and more focus on the bright clouds

sunset in the clouds

thank you! It’s all I could think about while I was out doing stuff around people all weekend

ACT NOW

I’m gonna eat so much pizza and watch scary movies and not move tomorrowwwwww

Killing a vampire with the garlic dipping sauce from Papa John’s

The three types of Nextdoor post are

anyone recognize person ? why a hat in this weather ?

do NOT open communiqués from Yahoo it’s called FISHING

pile of dirt across the street preparing for what? building mcdonalds from the dirt? i will leave

in like 2019-2020 it was very fashionable to be like “the kids are gonna save us, these kids get it” lmao

it’s a group of high school or early college aged girls on the flight and they are predictably irritating and ill mannered

one night my grandfather got drunk and explained to me that cows can’t count past 7. And if you put out 7 hay bales or had 7 stalls or whatever for 7 cows they’d figure it out but any more than that and it would be chaos

the three young girls in the row in front of me have all reclined their seats, the most disrespectful act possible

guys I think Claire is flirting with me….

Oh just because something was created to be the embodiment of your primitive fears you’re scared of that thing?

did you save big money?

❔

Oh my god I’m never gonna get out of this god forsaken desert

pfft I remember being this idealistic 🙄

alright fuck this I’m paying for WiFi on this piece of shit