Jocelynn 💙

(18) I still hold out hope, and I still look into things when I find potential treatment options, but it’s pretty damn hopeless. The system is so broken that no amount of “thinking outside the box” to try to get help got me anywhere. It was always a dead end.

(17) then it will come my way at some point. But if not, then it is what it is and I won’t be able to get the help I need.

(16) get the medical care I need, etc. and after so many years of trying, I was utterly exhausted from it. I had no energy left to make even one more phone call, or to do anything else to try to get help. I was beyond burned out. so I finally just said fuck it, if I’m meant to get the help I need

(15) to give those injections was several hours away from where I live.
so that’s the recurring combo of issues I always run into. it’s either insurance, can’t legally pay out of pocket, have no money to pay for a hotel room, have no car, no one who can take time off of work to take me to

(14) I’ve also looked into getting injections in my neck to treat the PTSD because there’s evidence it works really well for some people. well then I found out that just 1 injection would cost $4,000. and I would have to do it more than once a year. And the only provider I could find who was trained

(13) so I can’t switch my insurance at all, and I also can’t even move away to be closer to the healthcare I need because again, I will lose my doctor and then there goes all my access to my meds.

(12) works. and those meds are some of the only meds that have adequately treated my severe OCD. before I got on them, I was having compulsions up to 13 hours per day. you couldn’t pay me to live like that ever again.

(11) if I do then I will lose my doctor and all other access to the clinic I go to. He’s one of the very few doctors who will prescribe the meds I need because they are controlled substances. Most doctors won’t prescribe them at all or if they will they won’t prescribe the dose that actually

(10) so just accessing therapy has been incredibly frustrating because there’s no therapists where I live who are available and take my insurance. I have also tried to switch my insurance just so I could have better access to the healthcare I need and I can’t even switch my insurance because

(9) so TMS sadly didn’t work out at all like I hope it would. and then there’s the countless phone calls and emails I have left for therapists just to try to get EMDR in person because I tried EMDR online and it wasn’t effective. I have been on waitlists to see an EMDR therapist for 5+ years.

(8) I didn’t see how I could possibly raise thousands of dollars just for 1 week of my very first TMS sessions only to have to come back over and over again and somehow find a way to constantly have fundraisers that would cover the cost of the TMS sessions in the long run

(7) do what they call “maintenance sessions”, because the effects of TMS usually don’t last forever. they told me I could do TMS and I may have to come back within just a few months to have more sessions done. so it felt impossible to do it.

(6) who the hell has $10,000???? And thats not counting the transportation costs, having to pay to stay in a hotel for a week, buy food, etc.
the cost of it alone felt completely out of my reach. and then what really made it feel pointless to me was that lots of people who do TMS have to

(5) so at that point I was fucked. there was nothing I could do to access it. and even if I could pay out of pocket for it, they said just 1 week of what they call “accelerated TMS” which is basically having multiple sessions every day for a week..cost $10,000.

(4) they need if they are on Medicaid. it doesn’t matter even if Medicaid won’t cover it. if they won’t cover it, your screwed.

(3) and found out that while my insurance would cover it for depression, they wouldn’t cover it for PTSD. so then I thought okay well maybe I could just have fundraiser to help raise funds so I could do it…well turns out it’s illegal in my state for anyone to pay out of pocket for anything

(2) if it would help. first I could never access it because for years, there was no TMS center for 100s of miles. then when I found out a TMS center was finally opening an hour away from where I live, I got so excited because I thought I was finally going to get the help I needed. but then I called

(1) to further explain the situation I am in, these are all of the reasons why I haven’t been able to access the treatment options that are left for me try:

It’s the damn insurance. either no one will take it, or my insurance won’t cover the services I need. I tried to get TMS treatment to see

(6) you may have left me positive and comforting messages if I hadn’t disabled it. I hope that in the future I won’t be so afraid and will be able to find the courage to not disable it so you guys can leave me messages that are helpful ♥️

(5) anyhow, I am just thankful that there are people out there who believe me and that I’m not over exaggerating the situation i am in. I also wanted to add that I still have disabled comments out of fear of someone coming along and making hurtful/ignorant comments. that being said, I know some of

(4) I have always felt a lot of shame for how I ended up with PTSD because society is cruel and doesn’t always understand how some people end up with PTSD.

(3) it’s more common for neurodivergent people to develop PTSD from things that the average population isn’t typically affected by. finding that research has helped me to be more accepting of what my PTSD originates from and to accept myself for who I am.

(2) went through. but turns out nothing bad happened from posting it. I truly appreciate all the people who liked and shared it to try to help me. even if it was only a few likes and shares, I am forever grateful. I am neurodivergent, and I found new research showing that

(1) I wanna say thank you to everyone who liked my post. I was afraid to talk about the situation I’m in for so long, because I feared people’s reactions. I feared getting painful and ignorant comments about it. I feared being seen as a complete weirdo for being so badly affected by what I

I had this realization and it’s so true. there are so many positive things about middle eastern culture that are never talked about in our media #fyp #trending #iran #worldtok #US TikTok video by Jocelynn Mclaughlin

www.tiktok.com/t/ZTh7SP8SH/

(16) that’s how bad the ptsd is. I ain’t exaggerating this in the slightest. This is all 100% real and I am being completely honest about everything I have said in this post

(15) infection slowly kill me. I wouldn’t care even if I got sepsis from it. And I certainly wouldn’t care if they told me I was gonna die if I didn’t treat it. Because the truth is that I seriously wouldn’t care. I would accept that my life had come to an end. and I would be at peace with that.

(14) and yes I am well aware that people don’t have the surgery and are fine for many years. The problem is if I were to ever end up with an abscess. Knowing me, I wouldn’t get help for it if they told me the only way to fix it was to have the surgery and be sedated for it. I would just let the

If you watched this entire thing, thank you. It really means a lot. I never wanted to talk about it, but I know TikTok has helped people find the help they needed so I am hoping the same thing will ha... TikTok video by Jocelynn Mclaughlin

www.tiktok.com/t/ZTh7NnPpu/

Please share this and get the word out. I need to find a provider who can help me. My life quite literally depends on it.