Richard Awkward

A photo of entertainers Little and Large. Large’s face has been blanked out and a question mark placed over it.

this photo leaves little to the imagination

"We called London a war zone and moved to Dubai by mistake"

Truly bizarre, though, that I hadn't thought about Horatius in, what, 45 years? And then literally the next day up he crops here.

Funnily enough I'm on holiday in Rome right now and yesterday I went on a little pilgrimage to the Sublician Bridge. And what did I find there? Nothing. No plaque, no statue, no commemoration of any sort of Horatius. Terribly disappointing.

I wanted to hug him.

If my name was Roger Boyes, I'd probably have a grudge against the world, too.

Me to the waiter at the pizzeria here in Rome - good game this, innit?

Him - I hate it. I hope they both lose. I am Milan.

You fucking what?!

Mărțișor fericit!

Paul McCartney in communion with his muse

1970s Macca is Best Macca

OPERATION EPIC HANDBAGS

Conrad Pugsley, The Wizard of Sutton in his full sorcerer's regalia.

Conrad Pugsley, The Wizard of Sutton has died.

The world is poorer without him.

I am so fed up of Labour being so utterly rubbish. Rubbish under Corbyn, rubbish under Starmer, rubbish under Milliband. Rubbish left, right and centre. What purpose do they serve any more?

I tried Scrivener and it does what it does very well, but sadly it seems unable to cope with the Romanian alphabet which is kind of essential to my purpose, meaning I'm having to work with about 120 (and growing) Word documents. Not ideal.

Is 80,000 about normal? I'm currently 81,000 words into my first draft and barely 2/3 of the way through the tale I'm telling.

Churchill: Land of Contrasts

again

also, concerning the outcome of Labour's "go fuck yourselves" strategy - we told you so, you fucking fools

One thing that needs saying though/

No matter how the Green + Labour vote would have split, it would have been more than what Matt Goodwin got.

We had never needed to be at each other's throat like this.

White, working class, too. Should've mentioned that as well.

So the candidate who left school at 16 with no A-Levels and who's spent her whole adult life vocational, manual jobs beat the ivory tower academic turned cushy media pundit, but you can be sure we'll still get plenty more casual description of the latter as "white working class".

Speaking as a qualified plumber married to an immigrant, get it right up yer, Goodwin, you tosser.

To this day I can't see a chess set without muttering "horsey to king bish 3" to myself.

Queeg.

Best of all was the book, "Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers"

Speak for Britain, Allister!

I always knew Terrance Dicks and Barry Letts were wrong 'uns. Finally someone is unafraid to tackle this last taboo.

Blasphemous opinion: Small Prophets was sort of all right but the script desperately needed at least one more go.

Meanwhile, tell me more about this "two-tailed dog party".

I'm assuming that Péter Magyar is merely 'less awful than The Toad', rather than being some glorious figure preparing to usher in a golden age of enlightenment, pluralism, tolerance, decency and the rule of law.

I mean, it'll do, I suppose.

Fuck Putin. Fuck Lavrov. Fuck Patrushev. Fuck Shoigu. Fuck Gerasimov. Fuck Lavrov again, just to be sure.

Slava Ukraini.