The INFAMOUS RJK

The world is a vampire.

...or whatever Billy Corgan said... 🧛‍♂️👀 #notquitedeadyet #undead #myINFAMOUSlife #imINFAMOUS #letsbeINFAMOUStogether #yerdoinitwrong

NO!!! NOT YET!!! Today is Día de Los Muertos!!! We don't start celebrating Christmas UNTIL TOMORROW!!!!! 👀 #noseriously #ucantmakethisshitup #myINFAMOUSlife #imINFAMOUS #letsbeINFAMOUStogether #yerdoinitwrong

Gary: I've called and texted you multiple times!! Why aren't you answering!?!!!

Me: It's Halloween. 🎃🕷💀🦇

Gary: ...and!?!! 👀

Me: I was ghosting you. 👻
#notquitedeadyet #noseriously #myINFAMOUSlife #imINFAMOUS #letsbeINFAMOUStogether #yerdoinitwrong

You become an adult the first time you pick up the icecube you dropped out of the freezer instead of kicking it under the 'fridge. Today, I discovered I'm STILL not an adult... 👀 #imold #oldAF #notquitedeadyet #myINFAMOUSlife #imINFAMOUS #letsbeINFAMOUStogether #yerdoinitwrong

Apparently, #AmericaFirst means a $40 BILLION bailout for Argentina that helps get Melei re-elected, whilst 40 MILLION Americans lose their foodstamps... 👀 #ucantmakethisshitup #noseriously #notquitedeadyet #myINFAMOUSlife #imINFAMOUS #letsbeINFAMOUStogether #yerdoinitwrong

Gary: Whatcha gonna be for Halloween this year?

Me: Tired 👻

Gary: That's not a costume.

Me: Gary... I'm DEAD tired. This isn't just my costume. This is my WHOLE personality!! 👀
#notquitedeadyet #noseriously #myINFAMOUSlife #imINFAMOUS #letsbeINFAMOUStogether #yerdoinitwrong

When did I stop skipping? I saw a kid skipping the other day and suddenly I'm wondering when was the last time I skipped. That was my favorite mode of locomotion! What happened??? 👀 #notquitedeadyet #noseriously #myINFAMOUSlife #imINFAMOUS #letsbeINFAMOUStogether #yerdoinitwrong

OMG! I'm reading Tweets referring to Trump's hotly contested White House Ballroom as the #EpsteinBallroom, and I just can't with this site... 🤣👍 #jussayin #sorrynotsorry #notmypresident #fuckthatputo #myINFAMOUSlife #imINFAMOUS #letsbeINFAMOUStogether #yerdoinitwrong

I can’t believe the dude tearing apart families is tearing apart the White House. I’m shocked.

I'm suddenly realizing I don't have a "thing", a Twitter thing, a thing that I share on here. Like, all my friends here have their thing, beit NASCAR, F1, model toys, bourbon and cigars, porn, daily travel, politics. I don't have that. I need a thing... 👀 #noseriously #letsbeINFAMOUStogether

Dont ask me how I know, but it turns out that "priceless jewelery" stolen from the Louve was just costume jewelry. In Other News: I'm gonna be the Queen of France this Halloween. You? 👀 #jussayin #sorrynotsorry #myINFAMOUSlife #imINFAMOUS #letsbeINFAMOUStogether #yerdoinitwrong

Sciatica killing me, I reached down to grab my toes to stretch it out. Alas, I was wearing sandals, and as my weight shifted forward, I began to fall forward, suddenly realizing I was standing on my figer tips, and couldn't reach out to stop my fall... 👀 #notquitedeadyet #letsbeINFAMOUStogether

I'm pretty sure autism is just a made up thing, because if it was real, some autistic dude would have done figured out what causes it and how to prevent it... 👀 #dunningkruger #imagenius #neurodivergentarmy #notquitedeadyet #myINFAMOUSlife #imINFAMOUS #letsbeINFAMOUStogether #yerdoinitwrong

At some point, phone manufacturers need to allow us to opt out of the call feature on our devices. I get more spam calls than I ever get calls from people I know by a factor or at least 250:1... 👀 #notquitedeadyet #noseriously #ucantmakethisshitup #letsbeINFAMOUStogether

I saw a dim bit light coming from the room where the clamor of gnawing and chewing and slurping emanated. Rounding the corner I caught it's shape, and as the darkness gave my focus shifted, leaving me peering at its shape, hunched over, unawares, consummed by its feast... 1/

okay okay OKAY here are all 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover

1. Slip out the back, Jack
2. Make a new plan, Stan
3. Hop on the bus, Gus
4. Drop off the key, Lee
5. Shit in the bed, Fred

I saw a dim bit light coming from the room where the clamor of gnawing and chewing and slurping emanated. Rounding the corner I caught it's shape, and as the darkness gave my focus shifted, leaving me peering at its shape, hunched over, unawares, consummed by its feast... 1/

Companies like SalesForce and AWS crack me up b/c they spend SO MUCH MONEY on advertising and I still have zip, zero, no idea what they do/sell... 👀 #alrightalrightalright #noseriously #myINFAMOUSlife #imINFAMOUS #letsbeINFAMOUStogether #yerdoinitwrong

Yes, but it's a pepo...

DIBS ON THE ACE FREHLEY COSTUME FOR THIS HALLOWEEN!!! I CALLED DIBS!!! 👀 #toosoon? #WINNING #notquitedeadyet #noseriously #myINFAMOUSlife #imINFAMOUS #letsbeINFAMOUStogether #yerdoinitwrong

My stated objective is to interact with, by commenting on, my friends' Twitter accts, until their other followers (er... friends?) BLOCK me out of sheer annoyance... 👀 #ucantmakethisshitup #noseriously #notquitedeadyet #myINFAMOUSlife #imINFAMOUS #letsbeINFAMOUStogether #yerdoinitwrong

Exactly. No clue... I'm assuming this is about some Anime artist. Not into that. Weird that this app sends this across my timeline. Gotta feed the algorithm...

I'm at a point now, where if I don't know who that person is organically, I'm not Googling them just b/c you made it seem important to know in a post. Also, did they misspell Midnight?

We used to wonder if, "Maybe it's Maybelline," but now we're all just asking ourselves if maybe it isn't AI... 👀 #noseriously #notquitedeadyet #ucantmakethisshitup #myINFAMOUSlife #imINFAMOUS #letsbeINFAMOUStogether #yerdoinitwrong

sorry for being painfully direct it will happen again (my mom loved Tylenol)

No Kings*

*except for the pro hockey team in LA, the pro basketball team in Sacramento, Bernard, Stephen, Carole, etc.

Vallvidrera, near Barcelona, has a curling club. Each season, the members of the club go to the local reservoir and toss a stone in to see if the ice is strong enough to play. Since the water never freezes, they go for brunch instead and raise the toast, ‘We shall play one day’.

A caramel apple, but can you peel the apple before you caramel it, and also, can that be peanut brittle instead of caramel? 👀 #ucantmakethisshitup #noseriously #ijusmadethisshitup #myINFAMOUSlife #imINFAMOUS #letsbeINFAMOUStogether #yerdoinitwrong

Some dude: Why Samsung? Why not Apple like the rest of us?

Me: This device chose me. It had a backbutton on its screen. We bonded over that. You wouldn't understand... 👀
#noseriously #ucantmakethisshitup #myINFAMOUSlife #imINFAMOUS #letsbeINFAMOUStogether #yerdoinitwrong

I feel like the defining difference between people like me, and those over there, is that despite everything, people like me are rooting for Donald Trump's attempts to end the violence in the Middle East. It's not about me. 👀 #notquitedeadyet #noseriously #letsbeINFAMOUStogether#yerdoinitwrong