Jem Roberts: Author &c.

If this is 'alternative' Birmingham, what the frig is the CONVENTIONAL side of the city? "You're about as alternative as Channel 4!" www.theguardian.com/travel/2026/...

If they call the second series Robocod, I’m in.

The truth is that Donald Trump is a failure, at everything except taking cash from suckers. Everything else he has ever built, every scheme he has ever actioned, all have been flimsy, ugly, stupid failures ending in disgrace.

He’s scheduled WWIII to be his final grand failure, we just need to ensure it’s a failure for him and his acolytes, not for us.

The truth is that Donald Trump is a failure, at everything except taking cash from suckers. Everything else he has ever built, every scheme he has ever actioned, all have been flimsy, ugly, stupid failures ending in disgrace.

For this #WorldBookDay, Fred was a slightly reluctant Tiger Who Came To Tea! Maybe he’d have been more up for it if we’d said he was William Blake’s Tiger Tiger burning bright…

I wonder if anyone is out there editing together the best new bits of the Disney Beatles Anthology series in with the Director's Cut of the original series, to make an all-new definitive cut. If so, please share the torrent link as soon as...

Nobody really wants to die – but certainly, nobody wants to die purely because Donald Trump raped and killed children. Yet it looks like we may have no choice.

I always find it saves time to assume that any man who uses the term ‘pussy’ for anything except a cat is a sex criminal.

It's #WorldBookDay! Here's 9 or 10 very good suggestions of what to read next! www.amazon.co.uk/stores/Jem-R...

I'm still pissed off at how badly run and unfriendly The Rik Mayall Festival is. Running a festival and being decent to people is really not that difficult.

As it's one month to our big comedy folktale show for @BathComedyFest, here's a sort of local tale for you – if you believe Arthur was a West Country lad. Glastonbury Tor is only a few hills away! AVALON: www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/lucqk... #FolkloreThursday 📚 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿👑⚔️

Be in no doubt, whoever Trump's criminal gang have decided is The Enemy – they are not our enemy. Donald Trump is the enemy of all humankind.

I hope no one ever tries to reboot Irene Handl. Because frankly, Irene Handl was the best Irene Handl there'll ever be.

Hey, if it ain't broke – carefully maintain it.

I’m back.

Nigel Farage is still vermin.

Islamist forces are targeting Dubai, the epicentre of all the planet’s most evil activities.

Beginning to think we might have been wronging that Allah dude.

In the cases of a fair few, literally.

Of course what few people appreciate about Sir John Betjeman was that he did all of his own stunts.

I can take a joke, but it's better to give than to receive.

You cannot have any association of any kind with AI "art" of any kind and not be a piece of shit – in the same way you cannot bathe in vomit and smell nice. It's 1+1=2 thing.

The chords to Right Said Fred (spit)'s Comic Relief song 'Stick It Out' are just C-G-F.

You know, if you were wondering.

There is no 'country' on this planet less FREE than the United States of America. It's a prison made entirely out of stupidity.

We should invent a new form of corporal punishment for Peter Mandelson, which just means that every last UK citizen is legally allowed to kick him hard right in the bollocks at any time of the day or night for the rest of his pathetic life.

It’s sad the electorate is so stupid as to allow political parties to exist. Can’t everyone see the basic poor logic of putting any trust in organisations that openly flip-flop from murderously depraved to seemingly humane depending on polls/whims? Having any faith of any kind is 100% impossible.

One of the worst things about the attacks on Iran and the thousands of children who will be killed, is just how sexually exciting the pathetic child rapists responsible for the bombing must be finding it.

FUN COMEDY FACT: In TV's 'Only Fools & Horses', Trigger always called Rodney 'Dave', because he despised him.

I'm bringing back 'Hey nonny nonny'.

It's time for 'Your Party' to stop playing silly buggers, and time for Zack to make a deal to bring every member into the Greens. The last thing we need is the Corbyn vote gumming up the system.

Not really, this narrows it down to only 6 throats to slit before you confiscate all their property for the state. bsky.app/profile/rbre...