colonel bastard

a digital collage with a pink, purple, green, yellow, and teal gradient overlaid on all the images. the images include a horse carrying a bucket, a cluster of mushrooms, a grub, a birds talon, a cicada, five spiders, two flower buds, a hand with an eye over the back of it, and a microscope slide of atoms. there is white text that reads "get weirder or die miserable." the background is black and there is a slightly grainy texture

get weirder 🫵

nope is genuinely so fucking good

I've never wanted something to flop harder than this fucking misbegotten television show for transphobic 42-year-olds

sorry for being cringe I'm trying to enjoy being alive

Ian McKellen performs “The Strangers’ Case” speech from “Sir Thomas More” on Colbert.

every medievally inspired artist must eventually make a pastiche of their favourite piece of medieval art

not very hard to guess which one's mine 🩸🦄🌷

just found out that mike flanagan is making a fucking exorcist movie and this is where i draw the fucking LINE i need this man OUT of hollywood IMMEDIATELY!!!!

favorite steven spielberg movie?

a sketchy drawing of the artist with top surgery scars and the words 'thank god' and 'thank you' written behind him, along with a footnote: "i do not beieve in God in any meaningful way and all the things I am so grateful for have come from ME and THOSE I LOVE (and from gay people) (thank you gay people)"

sometimes you get hit with the euphoria all at once

NOOOOOOO HAAAAAANS

wishing you the happiest! 🖤

PANEL 1: a sad little pigeon sits and bemoans "ugh, what's the point in trying...i can't do anything..." PANEL 2: the pigeon perks up and says "wait a minute...i shouldn't listen to myself." PANEL 3: the pigeon stands proudly, saying "what do i know? i'm am idiot!" PANEL 4: the pigeon zooms off, exclaiming "screw you, me - i can do it!!"

doing it out of spite (against myself)

The final Calvin and Hobbes, which appeared in papers 30 years ago today.

“put your hands on your ASS” will never not send me

4 Panel Comic Panel 1: Blue guy holding a champagne glass saying: Pffft. You can’t say Merry Christmas anymore because of the woke police. Merry Christmas! Panel 2: Two police officers in rainbow coloured uniforms smash through windows either side of the blue guy. Officer 1: WPD! Officer 2: Put your hands on your ass Panel 3: The woke police begin beating the blue guy Officer 1: Merry this motherfucker Officer 2: I got you christmas right here shithead Panel 4: Blue guy standing in the exact same position as in Panel 1. The beating that just took place was a complete fantasy. Blue guy: God I wish that would happen

can’t say Merry Christmas anymore because of the Woke Police 😔

friendly reminder that you didn't waste your year. any moments of happiness or comfort. any small accomplishments, they all matter. this has been a really hard year, and simply surviving is something to be proud of.

if you give a mouse a cookie

4 panel comic Panel 1: Red Guy looking way way too happy yells “Hey Guys! Is Die Hard a Christmas movie?” Blue Guy next to him calmly says “Shhh” Panel 2: Blue Guy tenderly puts his arms around Red Guy and says “You don’t have to do this” Panel 3: Blue Guy still holds Red Guy tightly and repeats “You don’t have to do this every year”. Red Guy begins to break. Panel 4: Red Guy dissolves into Blue Guy’s embrace, sobbing. He finally feels the weight of Christmas Discourse lifting from his shoulders. He is finally free.

i’m setting you free. i’m releasing you from the discourse

i love the starry inclusions 🤩 uthur’s tongue looks like a lot of fun!

I’ve seen a few folks go for the “if you simply must watch that new Harry Potter show just pirate it” and sorry. No. Just no. Just don’t watch it. At all. Ever. Break free of it. It’s time. You’ll be ok. I promise. I know it mattered to you as a kid. Find new things, it’s healthier. Just move on.

succubus - female demon that seduces men

incubus - male demon that seduces women

vengabus - non-binary demon that likes to party

need this on a tshirt tbh………. looking forward with morbid dread to his carrie series because the horrors of this life are slowly making me numb and i know this will invoke so much incandescent rage in me that i will finally be able to feel again

once you relax about the Burden of Manhood you either become a cool dude (nice) or a hot woman (also nice)

"Vampire fiction is for tops and werewolf fiction is for bottoms"

-me just now in an interview with a major magazine

Charlie Kirk, Redeemed: A Political Class Finds Its Lost Cause By ignoring the rhetoric and actions of the Turning Point USA founder, pundits and politicians are sanitizing his legacy.

Ta-Nehasi Coates is doing a lot of things with this essay, but one of the most important is fearlessly using examples of anti-trans hate to describe Charlie Kirk's politics.

The contrast between his choices and those of other writers for major legacy outlets is revealing.

Me, buying myself the goddamn little treat I deserve

Being trans is great, but it would nicer during a time when my mere existence is not a form of protest

4 panel comic Panel 1: Purple Guy steps in bear trap and screams Panel 2: Purple Guy gets punched in the penis by a boxing glove Panel 3: Purple Guy gets set on fire Panel 4: Purple Guy lying on the ground, almost dead. Blue guy sticks head into shot and says: Heads up, things are about to get bad

what being alive currently feels like

Iconic moment at the Downton Abbey premiere