Ultragross

Spending time with friends you’ve had for 25 years hits different

2 days. I think running/sweating is good for my skin

My cat is so snuggly but I have so much to get done

I miss getting to not work two days out of the week. I miss taking a day to not speak to anyone & just walk in the woods. Forage. ID plants n critters.

I miss Georgia. I miss the forest. I miss renfest. I miss Jerrod and Steven and Joey. I miss I miss I miss.

Pins in green fabric

Hmnggkkgi making things more complicated for myself because of course I am

Getting started on things again soon I hope

I miss my art buds in GA 😭 so so much

It was literally a friend I was talking to who is diagnosed bipolar disorder I had no idea that was even considered mania

Oh I’ve always got 10,000 projects ready to work on lol the problem is sticking with one. But it was suuuuper productive time

This all being said, I’ve had a lot of close relationships with ppl with bipolar 1 and I don’t relate at all to their behavior so i don’t fuggin know

My parents fought relentlessly when I was a kid because my dad had a big spending problem. Buying crazy shit like a pinball machine & in ground heated pool n a fucking tanning bed etc which DOES align with mania spending behavior

Side note here: my dad was a doctor n def didnt seek medical attention when necessary (had many small heart attacks before dying of a massive heart attack) so it wouldn’t be outside the realm of possibility that he just chose to go untreated

Oooo that’s a good point. Maybe look at side streets n check the street view to see if parking is permitted??

I have felt for a good while now that ssris were not helping me but maybe I needed mood stabilizers. Will report back when I eventually see a psych again.

Disorder diagnosis *
My dad was diagnosed bipolar but apparently had a rly bad time w the meds n mom says that it was her understanding it was a misdiagnosis. But sometimes it takes a while to find the right meds so who knows.

I used to get on Google earth and zoom in on venues and see where the parking was!

Finding out some diagnosed bipolar ppl only experience mania for maybe an hour is rly interesting. Because I will. Recently for 36 hrs. But it’s incredibly rare that I experience it at all. Like at most once a year. I have no bipolar disorder. But it’s like. Lack of sleep but high energy

Oof yeah I’m familiar with the substance coping method. Doesn’t fit in with my current life as it is. I’m severely sober now. N I’m usually pretty good at coping but today had an especially bad time

It certainly feels pathetic when you go through it! And it’s hard to explain to other people that you’re not mad at them you’re just freaking out 😩😩 and yeah likely so. My raads was real high. But no formal diagnosis.

I’m calm again but like damn I rely way too heavily on routine n when it gets interrupted I have a full of cry fest n it’s pathetic!

Could rly use some coping skills right now that don’t include banging my head on the wall or punching myself

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Green tomatoes growing from a plant

Green tomatoes growing from a plant

Green tomatoes growing from a plant

Green tomatoes growing from a plant

Tomatiiieeeesss

My tomato plants are looking amazing! A full recovery n lots of fruits growing again. Yayyyy

It’s good that you laughed like a maniac. Outstanding. The absolute goal lmao

Sometimes it’s nice to just slather your face in Vaseline n then go on an evening walk by a tree line collecting gnats on your goopy face. What I imagine a carnivorous plant feels like.

THIS!!! Yes 100%%%

It is a process! It’s def not something you get over overnight. It takes yeaaaars to come to terms with the fact you’re not the person you want to be. The reality is, people rarely are.

And the ability to be wrong. How can anyone become anything more than what they are if they can never acknowledge being wrong